Stupidly Stupid America OneShots

That's a Big Arse Magnet Al

In which England(Arthur) gets stupidly suspicious of a large magnet being transported in America.

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Alfred' POV

     Peaceful. That is a word in which you can use to describe this meeting. Totally. What? Dude, you don't believe me? Bro it's totally fine-

     "America!" That was the sound of my wake up call. My wake up call being a very angry looking Brit. No more day dreaming. I wish our meeting were peaceful.

     "Yes Iggy?" I smile at him. It's not like he ever smile back. 90% of the time. But I feel happy today for some unknown reason. Sadly, Iggy does not share this mood. That is sad.

     "I've told you not to call me 'Iggy'," he put his hand up to form air quotes to further express his opinion, "you git. Now, care to explain this??"

     A nice piece of newspaper is set[read slammed] in front of me. Hmm, it looks brutally ripped from rage. Clear sign Iggy got this himself. The picture is half ripped off, but even if it wasn't, I can only see a circular thing covered in tarp. The title was also partially ripped off. The only words I got were Magnet Transportation Operation. And there was a map of me on it. A route marked all the way down the east coast and up the Mississippi River.

     I don' get it. Why is he so upset or a magnet transportation? "What about it?"

     The look on his face is both hilarious and scary. If I were Francy Pants, i'd probably be dead right now, "What about it? I'll tell you 'What about it?'. What about it is you're transporting a bloody massive magnet from one laboratory to another! What sort of wizardry are you going to pull off with it? And why is it bloody 50 feet!?"

     That caught the attention of some nations close to us. Dang. Why is he so upset over this? Like bro, it's just a magnet dude. A magnet. Not the end of the world. Although, if the world was ending, I don't think he'd act any different.

     "Vizardry? England, I don't zink humans do zat anymore. I also don't zink America's vould in particular," a very stoic German said. 

     "Ja! Jou should really zink about vho jou are talkink to!" my awesome Prussian friend butted in. He looked over to me with a wacky smile. Who would I be to not return it?

     "As if you would know how to do that you Prussia prat! Now! What is this? America EXPLIAN!?" England turned back to me. He is seriously dead set on this isn't he. Dude. It's literally what it looks like. A giant magnet is getting transported from one lab to another. It can easily be damaged, why else would there be a tarp on it and such precautious measures be taken? Like dude, it's clearly important- 

     Oh. I see. Yeah, that does sound like some sort of government conspiracy now. Yeah... my bad. 

     "Mon ami, don't you think you are overreacting. Just a tad?" Ah yes, there is our favorite french fellow. Hmm, Favorite French Fellow... FFF. F for Frace. That's four Fs. Poor guy. Wait, what were we talking about? Oh, yea, big giant government sounding magnet for a lab. And Iggy's overly large eyebrows being mad. Yep

     "But just look at the Frog! It's huge!" The paper that was once in front of me was ripped away, much like it's missing body, to be shown to France, "He has to be planning something! What else could he possibly need such a ridiculously large magnet for?"

     "Hmm, silence perhaps? You know mon fils has a few large laboratoires in his land," Frenchy pointed out. I mean, is he wrong? But still, could I maybe have a say in this? I mean, it is my magnet, right?

     "Uh, dudes-"

     "First of all! He is not your son! Second of all, who knows what this idiot is doing! Knowing him, it's probably some stupid idea about hero's or whatever to get rid of some problem it will never fix!"

     "That sounds rather foolish, even for him."

     "Hey, guys, can I just-"

     "Silence!" Germany called out over the two fighting nations. Oh, I can't tell if this will be funny, or annoying. Germany is either really nice to me, or an absolute a-hole. It just depends on his mood and time of day I guess. And also how much North Italy has been bothering him. Yeah, time of day for sure.

     I witnessed a sight I continuously forget I'm able to see sometimes. France and England looking shell shock at Germany trying to decide weather they will die or live to see another day. They've never died. Yet. But the fact still stands that they might. That'll be fun to see.

     "Vould jou please care to tell us vhy zis magnet is so important?" He asked them. The other nations had noticed them arguing over it too. Probably because Germany yelled at em. I don't know if I look stupid sitting next to them, or if I look tired. But I feel as if it's a mixture of both and I don't like either.

     Francy point to Iggybrows, "He did it. Not me." Okay, now they sound like children. I thought I was supposed to be one of the children of the the nations? Are we like, going back in time or something bro?

     Iggy snapped his head towards France, "I did NOT you bloody frog!!"

     "Oh really!? Then why were you the one questioning Amérique huh?" France shot back. The two stared at each other intensely. I was getting kinda uncomfortable, not going to lie to you. Then, my savior, but also the demon that lurks under my bed haunting my dreams spoke up.

     "Aiyah, if he is not fighting you, he is bothering America, is he not?" Hey look, it's 'Pay you debts America!' guy. China! I mean, he's not bad, just the only topic on conversation we ever have is about money. That's boring if you ask me.

     "Well don't go at me! How am I supposed to know what he" doing with the massive thing?! There was no explanation as to what it was for! Nothing!" England yelled across the room.

     "There definitely won't be, it looks like you ripped that poor newspaper to shreds to get that article," I looked up to him, finally getting words in. Is this how Mattie feels 24/7? Wait.. who was Mattie... oh, yea, Canada! My bro!

     "Could you please tell us Amérique dear? I fear Angleterre here may not be able to handle not knowing," France nodded towards Iggy. His eyes rolled very visibly. I think he is to tired to fight today. Wow. That's a new one.

     "Yeah sure Frenchy dude!" I nodded smiling at him, "Basically, that thing was collecting dust in so lab in Brookhaven and the people in another lab in Chicago needed it. The thing is like, 17 tons bro, and it's about 50 wide, so it ain't gonna easily fit in the tiny little streets in the city area. Duh. Plus, it's kinda really breakable so they had to move it real carefully. And if you know anything about transporting big things, you know doing it on land ain't fun and ain't easy. So they are taking the thing by water. It's safer, and costs less than buying and building a new one!"

     All in one breath. Pretty proud of myself.

     "How much less hmm," China dude eyed me. What, he thinking I was gonna waste money or something. I know I can't handle it well, but I'm not that stupid.

     "Building a new one probably woulda been 30 mil maybe? Transporting it this was is like finding a major discount on Black Friday, real cheap. Only 3 mil," the response I had I don't think is what he wanted. Why, I could never tell, you.

     "America, my awesome bro, zat is, like, a real big a** magnet for only 3mil!" Prussia beamed at me. 

     "Of course it is!! Like, who would miss such a great offer dude!"

     "I know bro! It's so awesome!

     "Totally dude!"

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By the way, this happened in 2013, the whole transportation thing. Search YouTube 'The Insane Transportation of a 17-ton Magnet' if you don't believe me.

Spelling error exist.

Word count- 1391