Stupidly Stupid America OneShots

StarMen 2

A/N: I'm sorry to those few who saw this published unfinished. That was a mistake made on my part due to being excessively tired while revising what had been written thus far.

A/N: Because I actually really like this concept, and I've kept a solid grasp on it compared to my other concepts. Plus I love Diego's attitude.

Somewhere

3rd Person

"I feel like maybe this should be illegal."

The man across from him laughed, "When was the last time laws actually existed?"

"Right now actually," he pointed to a signboard on the wall near the entrance, "Luc is pretty strict about this room."

"Don't forget all the legal terms for running this ship, primo," the entrance door slid open, revealing a girl with light chocolate skin and short terribly cut black hair. Don't ever tell her that though, she doesn't take kindly to insults regarding how she dresses it.

"Well we'll, if it isn't my favorite sister, have you finally come to visit me? I've been terribly lonely here without company," the girl just scoffed, "You've have Alfred here haven't you?"

"Yes, I do believe I count as company," Alfred joked. The other man gave a have a*sed laugh, "What, you're calling this gilipollas company? He's not the best at keeping two sided conversations, in case you haven't noticed Maria."

Alfred let out an audible gasp and held his hand to his chest, "Oh how you wound me dear brother!!"

"I'M NOT YOUR BROTHER IDIOT!" The man screamed, Maria simply laughed at their bickering, "When your done, I'd like to remind you that Luciano will be coming by later to do a hopefully final test on you, then you'll be home free, ok Diego?"

"HAZAH! Finally I'll be outa this prison of a box!" Diego cheered. Since he and Alfred had returned, he been in quarantine. Not only had he breathed in air full of toxins, but the crew also found out, after his adrenaline died down, that the Things skin had burned holes in his suit where they had been. Alfred had been luckier, only being in physical contact with one for mere seconds. There wasn't enough time for it to burn through his suit, but it did still needed to be repaired.

Diego on the other hand, his end of the stick kept getting shorter and shorter. He'd obtained the close equivalent to 3rd degree burns from being in contact with the acidic skin of the octopi Things. His legs recovered quite fast, but seeing as he was no longer a nation, and no longer had that extra healing boost, his arm would need much longer.

The Thing that had made contact with his arm, according to Luciano, if it had been removed even seconds later, it's acid would've come in contact with his bone. Which would never heal. He's going to have a dent in his arm for a while though.

All injuries aside, he was still stuck in his nearly week long quarantine. Which to say was no fun. He never enjoyed hospitals, and now he'd been stuck in the corner of a mini one with a sh*t toilet for about 6 days. Oh, and you know how on Earth, hospital food normally sucks? Yeah, even space can't get you the luxuries of normal food when in the medical facility.

The worst part, he wasn't even in the room when they analyzed the footage from his helmet.

...

Maybe we should backtrack a bit, yes?

——

The year is 2015, and the planet Earth had gone unnoticed by an extraterrestrial lifeforms thus far. Most of the nations were living out their best lives, enjoying the fact that there was no controversy.