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6. An enquiry...

6. An enquiry, an opportunity and lots of thinking.

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What should I do?
How should I fucking react?
It's all crossing just above my head. How can I get selected? It was such a terrible audition and the impression by my not-so-good body created in front of the judges was Wow!
Like how is it even possible?

I call the given number on the mail and they immediately pick up.

"Hel-..."

"Welcome to the Bighit International Auditions Committee. We request you to press the buttons as follows:-
If you want to register, press 0.
If you want to enquire about our services, press 1.
If you've given an audition and want to check your results, press 2.
If you're selected in the auditions and want more information about it, press 3.
If you - "

That's it. I press 3 without waiting any further without letting the automated message play. The second I press the button, an automated voice is heard.

"Please wait until we connect you to our customer care services."

I wait. It seems so long when you have to wait for something really important and you're getting anxious each second. It's difficult to keep your feelings in check. I make a list of questions ready to ask the respective person authority on the phone and take deep breaths to calm myself the fuck down.

"Hello?" An unfamiliar manly voice is heard from the other side in Korean and I immediately take the phone in both of my now sweaty hands.
"Hello! (Annyeonghaseyo) " I say as soon as my hands touch the metal of the phone.

"Yes, how can I help you?" The voice asks in English. I'm much relieved since I know that maybe I'll miss some important details in Korean but it is less likely in English.

"Can you please tell me if Radha Sen from India has qualified for the international auditions of Bighit 2011?" I ask politely. Hoping for it to be true but at the same time, I don't want it to be.

"Yes, give me a second." The man says.
I don't know this feeling where I feel happy, like really happy, it feels like I'm going to fly out of the world. But at the same time, it's scary to think if it'll be true then what? What will I do? Go to Korea? Should I -

"Yes, ma'am, here I have all the details." The man says not letting me complete my thoughts.

"So, Yes, Ms. Radha Sen From Delhi, India has qualified the Auditions with a rank of 1266. Her email is .......... And may I ask who you are to her, Ma'am?"

What the hell? It's true. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh, the devil. What should I do? Oh god, Radha, calm the fuck down first of all and reply the man.

"I'm Radha. Radha Sen," I say as quietly as I can. I don't know why I don't want anybody around me to know this. But there is this inner voice yelling to not let anybody know. At least not now. Let me do some preparations and let me ready myself before telling anybody and handling their reactions.

"O-ok. Congratulations Ma'am. Uh. What else can I help you with?"

"Just tell me what I would have to do now." I don't know anything. Literally nothing. Yeah, I gave the Auditions, I passed with an impossible rank, and I know the language at a certain level but other than that, I know nothing of what the hell to do after this. I never imagined really getting selected ever.

"Ok. Ma'am, you would have to come to Korea. And the required time is within one month. You have to come here paying the travel charges and the living arrangements till your offline auditions here will be done by the company.
If you qualify in the offline auditions, you would be required to sign a contract of being a trainee for a minimum of 2 years. You would be training under Bighit entertainment and it is expected of you to know a bit of the Korean language. You will be given opportunities to present yourself and in that duration, if you keep qualifying, then you would debut.
Whether as a solo artist or in a group, that would be decided when you come here and pass the offline auditions first. Then, if you debut, further information will be provided by our producer, Bang Shi Hyuk."

He says everything in a flow. I am still stunned by the golden opportunity that has come to me. It's like magic. Years of sweat and hard work and I got it. I finally got it.
But I didn't know that my reaction would be like this. Or that I would feel confused about telling others.

"Hello?" The man voices out. Oh, I should do something of these thoughts. They can't just drown me whenever they want. Okay, whatever let's focus on him.

"Yes."

"So, ma'am, are you coming?"
What should I say?

"I'll think and answer to the mail of confirmation. Is that okay?"
I ask surrounded by the mists of uncertainty. I can't decide anything just right now without considering anyone else. I can't just leave everything all of a sudden on my own and expect others to follow around me.

"Yes. It's totally okay. Just answer the poll in the mail and we'll get to know about your decision. Anything else ma'am?"

"No. Thank you."

"Ok. Congratulations again ma'am. We hope to maintain good relations with you."

"Me too. Thank you."

I cut the call and throw the phone on the bed along with my body. The bed creaks with a loud voice and my mom yells from the kitchen, "What did you break?"

"Nothing."

After that, I'm left in silence and alone just like I wanted. To gather me and my stupid thoughts.
Okay.
I'm selected in the Korean auditions that are offering me to come to Korea for becoming an idol. But that will only be ensured when I qualify for the offline auditions. What if I don't qualify? Then what? Will I just come to India again?
I think it is that. It will be like having an exam whose center I got in Korea.
Wow.
It will be worth it. We just have to pay the travel charges and give auditions there and if I qualify, then, the paths of my career will be open. But if I don't, I'll come to India again and continue my normal life with the same goals of passing Board exams with flying colors and pursuing a career in computer coding.
That's perfect.
But now the major point comes, the main source of all this.
My parents. They'd have to agree or elsewhere and how will I go?
I'd try to convince Mumma first. She is understanding as per my requirements. I'll try my best to make them agree.

Now, my besties. I'll tell them tomorrow. And I'll talk to my parents tonight. And I'm worried about something else too. It's kind of weird why am I worried about it but yeah it's me. The paranoid me.
I'm worried about what Abhay would feel like if I got selected and will finally move to Korea for years or maybe for life.
Why am I even thinking about his feelings? He doesn't have any towards me. Although he's hot, tanned, and all muscles, and I like them too much for my own good but he's still my enemy.
He's been my bully from the starting. He tried to insult me about my appearance in front of the school in the beginning and when I didn't feel any of what he wanted me to, he backed away to bullying me by angering me all the time.

It's just that I hate him to the core but something about the way he watches me alone causes the eruptions in the pit of my stomach.
I don't understand that if he also had weird feelings towards me then why would he do all that.

I'm speechless. I have absolutely nothing to justify myself about this.
I don't know. It's getting more confusing the more I think. Let's just release them out to my besties tomorrow. They always have a solution to my problem.
Always.

Thinking like that, I cover my body with the blanket again to sleep. What?
I want to gain energy to talk about this heavy matter to my family tonight.!
You can't judge me. I know I have just gotten up from sleep but thinking is a really major exercise dude!

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So, We got to know a major detail and that is.. Radha is a sleep lover. And she can sleep every time. And that she's slowly figuring things out. And she's gonna talk to the parents finally.

So, let out your opinions in the comments without any hesitation and let me know any improvements you want.