A year of depression

Day 3: Pain

Today Lacy cut. She always does, sadly. But she tells me how she does it. She says that she digs in deep and then goes straight across. When she cuts she goes in the bathroom. I tell her to send me pictures to see what we can do so it isn't noticeable. I tell her to take a shower and clean them, even tho it'll hurt it'll get rid of the dry blood. Then before we go to school to put makeup on it and wear a sweater.
You see, I tell her all of the tricks I know so our principle won't harass her.
She always make everything worse instead of helping, she is a bitch.
She doesn't have a life at all.
She just gives me and Lacy a hard time at school, she never gives a break.
I know, I know, you might think
"She's just trying to help."
But helping is sitting down and talking about it with you, and not harassing you about it.
Why are people so mean?
Lacy did nothing wrong to anyone.
Everyone is just so mean to her,everyone just all of a sudden hated her. She is so nice, honestly people are so rude. People literally push her into lockers. And nobody does a thin about it, I would but I'm a grade lower than her.
Lacy isn't very popular, everyone knows her cuz her cousin, Jack talks about her all the time.
Me and Jack dated, but he scares me.
Anyways, I'm popular, I'm known around the school everyone talks to me.
I know you are thinking
"Why is she harming herself if everyone likes her?"
Well boys take advantage of me. I wouldn't say I'm a slut, but I don't think. I don't think, I don't know how to say stop.
Or they just do it when I say "Stop!"
Well Lacy always asks me
"Why are you friends with me?"
I love you her. I care about her and she cares about me. She deserves more love, her family makes fun of her also.
So after leaving school she gets called stuff from her family.
The pain that we both have is terrible.
I can't hold any food down I throw up all the time, but Lacy is losing weight.
She doesn't way for four days and then eats for one day. And then fast.
And I always try to kill myself cuz I can never take it.
But whenever I try someone always walks in, or one time someone called my mom.
I try to hang myself, or in the shower I try to fall, and my dad takes pills cuz something is wrong with his heart but I would try to take those pills.
Now when I would try to kill myself in the shower I would try to hit my head off the shower head or whatever it's called, or I would turn the star really cold or hot and lay in the bath.
Good night and remember
"One cut here, One cut there, No one will see, No one will care."
-Caroline