Jay Bird (aBoE)

Chapter 17: Birds of a Feather

He cannot have both worlds.

Natsu can tell by the way Wormwood is glaring at him that his brother is deadly serious. He had broken his promise and as such he had broken his trust. He made a habit of doing that hadn't he?

Despite how he has a longing in his heart to remain here with his team...with Lucy he also has another part of him that's eager to leave. The way that his guild mates are watching him makes him itch with anxiety and he wants to flee away from their stares. He felt safe with his team but everyone else made his skin bristle and crawl.

Besides that his mind is still reeling to understand what the hell had happened to him that day he had invaded Avatar. It had felt like someone had crawled under his skin and whispered in his ear, preying on his festering fears and...resentment. That same resentment Gavreel had warned him about a year ago.

He needs to leave and be with his family, he needs to sort this out.

With a long sigh Natsu lowers the twins down onto the ground and meets his brothers eye "alright fine, lets go."

"Natsu!?" Many of his guild mates shout in surprise, the most surrounding being Happy and Lucy.

Natsu rubs at the back of his neck "I did promise him I'd stay with him...I should keep my word."

"You aren't a prisoner Natsu!" Lucy pleas as she comes to stand next to him.

"I know that," He can't look her in the eye "I just...look  I'm the one in the wrong here."

"It's your life you can do what you want!"

"I know that but..."

"Enough," Wormwood speaks as he approaches them- pointedly ignoring Lucy's glare "we've wasted enough time, let's go."

Lucy steps between them "No."

Wormwood looks at her, face blank as usual.

"This doesn't concern you."

"Like hell it doesn't," Lucy hisses "you're the reason Natsu left aren't you?! Why he's been missing for a year. You took him without a word and you expect us to just let you take him again!?"

Wormwood blinks at her.

"I didn't take him he chose to stay with me." He looks sharply up at Natsu "I gave him time to tell you all where he would be for an extended period of time, though it appears he never actually told you anything."

Natsu grabbed at his arm "I'm sorry."

Lucy looked back at him in desperation "is that true?"

...

"Yes."

"Why?! Why won't you tell us anything Natsu?! We're your friends aren't we, why all the lies?!"

"I'm a selfish person," Natsu's voice is strangely hallow "I do things that are easy for me...I knew you all wouldn't be okay with me leaving at the time I did so I didn't say anything. It was easier for me to slip away unnoticed rather then have to confront you."

"The Natsu I knew wasn't a coward!"

"The Natsu you knew was a fraud." He makes himself look at her "I'm nothing but a coward. I run when things are overwhelming, I lie to get myself out of trouble, I pretend I'm someone I'm not."

"What the hell are you talking about," Gray asks in disbelief "you never ran before we took that job."

Everyone knows the job he means.

Natsu looks down at his feet.

"That job snapped me out of it. I was given a harsh reminder that I was wearing a mask...I don't know who or what I am anymore. I don't know if I belong here...everytime I think I have the answer something changes and everyone around me has different opinions on what I should be doing."