What Is Life? - A George Harrison FanFic

Chapter 23

The response the Beatles had to the sudden death of their manager and friend was to try and manage themselves and to create their next album to be released in late November. This gave them two short months to get all of their songs finished and recorded. They also did a few music videos to accompany the new album.

I was in awe everyday at my husband working hard and using his music as a creative outlet. Each morning we woke up and meditated together and started our day, as time passed I grew our baby and was feeling the strain of the final weeks of my pregnancy.

"Were about to be able to hold our baby," I told George one morning as I sat in bed and planned on staying there the whole day.

"We haven't decided on a name yet," he replied and he was right we had been putting it off for quite some time and we needed to figure it out.

"We don't know if we're having a boy or a girl," I reminded him.

"If it's a girl her name could be Star," George joked, the press would go crazy and believe you to have had an affair with Ringo."

"That seems like an awful idea," I began to laugh, "what about Sadie?" I asked him. It was a beautiful name and he fell in love with it.

"Sadie Rose," he added as her middle name.

"How did we decide on that so fast," I asked him.

"Because you, my beautiful wife, are so creative," he kissed me, "What if we have a boy?"

I hadn't wanted to press the subject.

"I think I feel pretty set on us having a baby girl but you know I would feel just as happy with a little boy to love and protect," I told my husband.

"We have time to decide," he assured me.

"I can think about a name while I lay here today. I don't plan on moving at all."

"After the release of this album," he said sweetly, "I will stay in this bed with you and never leave again."

....

They finished the new album fairly quickly and this time I stayed away from all of the parties and excitement surrounding it. The guys didn't even feel like celebrating after losing Brian and it still felt surreal that he, just like Darry, was gone forever from this earth. Yet the night they finished the album they all went out and I was not concerned when my husband didn't come home. I had Linda and Heather to keep me company while he had the night out that he deserved.

Shortly following the finishing of their album, I witnessed George go from excitement over creating music to now feeling down again now that the creative process was over. I was sure that this sadness inside of him was caused by the death of Brian and all I could do was support him and love him through it.

The album was released straight up to number one on the charts as per usual and there was no stopping the creative forces that they had even with no direction from a manager. It was an accompaniment of sorts to their previous one that I helped them work on. Most of the songs that didn't make the cut before now found themselves on this album.

"I kind of want to play live, for an audience," Paul admitted as the four of them and us wives and girlfriends all sat around in our home studio. It was the next evening after the success of their release. They had partied hard a couple weeks ago when the album was done and now they just wanted to enjoy some alone time as a band.

"We all want that but we don't want to deal with the same screaming madness that we dealt with in the past. Not touring has been good for us," George said to him and Ringo rolled his eyes at him.

"I feel the same as Paul," Ringo added, "I'm a musician and I want to play for my fans."

Everyone looked to John for some input and he sided with Paul and Ringo as well but added, "it doesn't have to be a tour. We could do a television performance, like when we did the Ed Sullivan show. We can play some songs or even just one song live and there we go."

I loved this idea so much and I stood up to look at George in front of everyone.

"George, you're as amazing as anyone here as a performer and you have to agree with them on this," I wasn't going to take no for an answer. This would do them so good.

After a brief moment of silence and him staring into my soul for a moment, George spoke.

"Fine," he finally said and looked directly at Paul with an eye roll, "you've convinced me."

Paul was sort of the makeshift business manager of the group because he cared so deeply about moving forward as a band and not letting them fall apart.

"I'm liking Johns idea," Paul then said, "what if we have a tv special and just play one or two songs."

"What if we play a song no ones ever heard before and then release it as a single," George suggested and all eyes were on him because it was a brilliant idea. It was the thing that would draw everyone in and peak their interest.

"What about 'Hey Jude'?" I suggested and Paul's eyes lit up. The song he had written for Julian months ago has been on the back burner and wasn't on their album because it didn't fit in among the other songs.

My husband looked a little bit annoyed at my suggestion because he definitely wanted to play a song where he could jam out on his guitar. This particular song was one that Paul plays the piano for and the guys just add backing vocals and a soft strum of their guitars.

"It is the perfect single," John added.

"Let's do two songs," Paul then said, "I can tell George wants to play on a stage and have a guitar solo."

"No," he said "just the feel of the stage again will be nice. We can do the one song, it's a good tune anyways."

"Then it's settled," Ringo said. He didn't object to the idea despite the fact that he too can't jam as hard as he usually does with this soft song. There was room for some drums but at the beginning of the song he would be on tambourine.

I then stared over at Ringo and his wife Maureen. I haven't been as close to Maureen lately like I have been with Linda. I knew this was because Linda lives with us but things just felt tense with Maureen and I.

Even now she was barely speaking and didn't feel present in the discussion we were all having. It was equally as awkward as it is with Yoko sitting there next to John staring at all of us in silence.

"When should we aim for?" Paul finally asked the group, taking me out of my deep thought. No one had an answer really for when.

"It would need to be either soon or after the baby arrives," George looked at me and then at the group, "I'm not missing the birth of my child."

"Oh, Daddy George," John said giving him a hard time, to which George gave him a death stare.

I knew George was holding in an insult or two back at John for the father that he was to his son. I was proud of him for keeping the peace among his bandmates.

"When are you having the baby?" Paul asked us again even though we've told him.

"We have an appointment the beginning of January," I reminded him.

"Then let's do a New Years Eve show," Paul suggested to the group then.

George looked at me, "I'm not doing that unless Lo promises me the baby won't come early."

I knew I couldn't promise that.

"Yes. Let's just do the show on the last day of the year," John agreed with Paul, "that idea sounds amazing."

Still George looked hesitant. Ringo said nothing, he looked like he didn't care and was in a bad mood today. I knew that he would show up any day of the year so his opinion didn't fully matter.

"You do know I will walk off the stage or not show up if my wife is having our baby," he again repeated to his bandmates.

Everyone sat in silence. George was being very hesitant about agreeing to this.

"If the show is in London," Linda finally said, "you would be closer to the hospital anyway. If you're playing only one song, that gives you time to get the song done and then George leaves if he needs to."

I smiled at her as George agreed he'd be okay with this. I was glad someone other than me was encouraging my husband to be a part of the Beatles first and a husband second for one night.

At the conclusion of the discussion Paul immediately went to make some phone calls in George's home office and the other Beatles left. Linda went to help clean up the kitchen for me and George pulled me into his lap on our sofa in the foyer. I was very pregnant and could barely even move.

George just stared at me and I let him for a few moments but then I spoke, wondering what was up.

"What exactly are you looking at," I teased him.

"I look at you and I just see our future. You're going to be an amazing mother to our child and the fact that you only ever have eyes for me, it's a good feeling."

"Of course I only have eyes for you, babe," I assured him, "I would never disrespect you in any way."

He looked pained or like he wanted to tell me something and I got nervous. Then the look went off his face and he kissed my forehead.

"Is there something you wanted to tell me?" I asked him gently.

He said nothing. Him not saying no assured me that something was wrong and I never in a million years could have prepared myself for what he might possibly confess to me.

I never doubted that he was faithful to me for one moment. I always believed in him and trusted him with my entire life. There was no reason for him to need to go elsewhere for pleasure, that is until I'm now this pregnant and can barely even walk, let alone be intimate.

"Well, whatever it is," a tear shed down my face suddenly as I prepared for my heart to break, "get it out now so I can process it."

He again looked pained and looked up at the ceiling before beginning to cry himself as he touched my very pregnant belly.

"I made a mistake," he said looking into my eyes, "I know the minute I tell you, you won't forgive me. I will tell you and let you process it and then I will leave you alone because I am ashamed."

I felt sick to my stomach. I love this man and he has done nothing but prove to me that I was the love of his life and we even created this life together that is so precious to both of us.

"I slept with Maureen," he admitted out of no where, completely catching me off guard.