Never Just Friends

12. Death

"I hear when you die...you smell lemons," said Mr. Dunn, quietly looking over to Meredith who was jotting down some notes about his condition on his chart.

"What?" she questioned.

"My grandfather...when he was dying, all he could talk about was the smell of lemons, for three days," he breathed. Meredith stared at him with a straight face and nodded, not knowing how to answer. "It'd be nice to have a friendly face in the crowd when they...do it," he told her.

She turned and walked towards the door, holding the chart in her arms. He started breathing more heavily and having trouble. Meredith turned around.

"Do you want me to page Dr. Shepherd?"

"He's your boyfriend, isn't he?" he accused. She paused, not turning around.

She ignored him. "I really think you should have me page Dr. Shepherd...you're obviously having trouble breathing."

"He's very lucky. And he has excellent taste."

Meredith felt a chill run down her spine and turned away, walking towards the door. William was definitely creepy. His voice was low and it lured you in. She felt bad for him but also understood that he was just like the men who swept the world out from under the Shepherd's lives, but worse because he did it to five families.

Suddenly she heard him gasping loudly, his breathing stressed.

"I don't want to die," he gasped. Meredith quickly leaned over him and pressed the code blue button.

Derek came rushing in about a minute after. Noticing William's eyes fluttering shut, he quickly checked his pupils. "Let's get him in the OR. Now!"

***

Derek walked into Mr. Dunn's room an hour after his successful surgery. "Mr. Dunn," he started. "Your surgery was successful. You'll be ready to be transported back to Caldwell tomorrow," he told him. Derek turned away and began scribbling notes on his chart.

"You realize Doctor, we're not that different," said William. "Like I said before, we both murder people."

Derek sucked in a sharp breath, trying not to hurt the man and give the judges a reason to sustain his execution. Instead Derek leaned over the bed, staring down at William. "We are nothing alike," he spat. "I try to save people for a living. Sure, they die sometimes, but only after I've done all that I can to save them. You, you killed four innocent women deliberately. I am nothing like you."

Derek turned to storm out of the room. "Who are you trying to convince? Me, or you?" called William after him.

Derek paused momentarily before continuing out. Who was he trying to convince?

***

Meredith walked towards the gates of Caldwell Correctional Facility. She couldn't believe she was actually going to his execution. It was stupid. Seriously stupid. Why should she care if he died? He was a mass murderer. He deserved it. But, he was still a person and Meredith decided he needed someone, one familiar face in the crowd of people waiting anxiously for him to 'fry'.

It was still a stupid idea to go though. It was an execution, not a dance recital. She knew it'd be horrible, life changing, scaring but William Dunn was a person. He had a mother, father, a grandfather who died smelling lemons, he was a person. He made some bad decisions that led him to killing five women and not feeling remorse. William destroyed five families robbing them of a daughter or mother or aunt. So, yes, he deserved to die. Just as a person, not an animal.

Two guards let her in, checked her ID and pointed her in the right direction. Meredith thanked them and continued towards the brick building. Once inside she was directed to an observation room, surrounded by other people, most likely the families of the people he killed, there for some sort of closure. Meredith sat alone in a sea of these sad people, watching as William was brought into the room on the other side of the glass. He was strapped down to a table and an IV was inserted into his arm. There was a loud beep and machines pressed the lethal injection into his arm. As the cocktail coursed through his veins, he looked over to Meredith, his empty eyes glaring into her straight ones. William turned his head away, staring up at the ceiling. Slowly his eyes closed and his limbs relaxed. He was dead.

Meredith hurried out of the room, trying to hold back tears. As soon as she felt the cool Seattle air hit her face, she let them out. Sure, she'd seen people die before but only after there was nothing else that could be done. She tried to remind herself that it was good. Justice. William deserved it. But, all she could think about was that they killed him. She tried to save people every day but this almost man was just killed. She neared the black metal gates of the prison and two guards opened the door for her. Wiping away a tear she looked up and saw Derek. He was leaning against his Range Rover just staring back at her. She neared him, wiping the tears off her face again.

"I know you don't understand me...I don't understand me," cried Meredith. "I wanted to show him compassion. That's why I went. That's the reason...and it was horrible," she sobbed, falling into his chest.

"Shh," he soothed her, wrapping his arms around her sobbing frame. He did understand her because she was Mer. She was the crazy girl he loved who had compassion for a serial killer. He held her for a few more minutes, just softly rocking her back and forth. "It's okay," he whispered into her hair. "Come on. I got Mark to take your car home. Come with me."

She nodded and he helped her slip into the passenger seat before slipping into the driver's side himself. "I had to go," she whispered, still crying. "He's a person and..." Meredith sobbed, unable to finish coherently.

He looked over at his best friend. "I know," he assured her.

They sat silently for the rest of the car ride, tears still flowing down Meredith's face. He drove up to her house and pulled into the driveway behind her car. She stayed sitting until he got out and went around, opening her door.

"Come on," he whispered. "Sleeping will help," promised Derek. She took his hand and he led her into her house, taking her keys from her and opening the door. He watched as she silently walked up to her bedroom. Derek sighed and got both of them some ice water before walking up after her. By the time he reached her room she was already under the covers, her head buried into a pillow. "Water Mer," he told her, placing the water on her nightstand.

Derek quickly put on a pair of sweatpants she'd stolen from him and crawled into bed with her. She immediately sought the warmth of his embrace and curled into his arms. While he held his broken best friend Derek tried to ignore how right sleeping with her felt. How perfect it felt. Her breath evened out and snores escaped her nose. Smiling at her adorable snoring, Derek reached over and took two wax earplugs that she kept around out of the drawer. Once in silence, he quickly fell asleep holding his best friend.

***

"No...no!" Meredith shouted in her sleep, tossing and turning. Derek immediately woke up and realized she was having a nightmare.

"Mer," he said forcefully, shaking her to try waking her up. She woke up with a thrash. "You okay?" asked Derek.

"Fine," she whispered.

"What was the nightmare about?"

"Nothing."

"Stop lying," he groaned.

"I...I was reliving it all over again...but this time they were killing you."

"I'm not a PDR."

"I know...but, you're my family. I can't loose you," muttered Meredith, clutching Derek. She knew she wasn't talking so much about him dying as much as loosing their friendship after she told him. "Derek ... I..." she started; wanting to get it over with, tell him she loved him while she had any nerve.

"We'll talk more tomorrow," he declared. "Go back to sleep."

She nodded and let her eyes close. She could tell him some other time.