I had a strange dream that was probably created because of my concern last night.
In short, I'm down bad. I was finally able to start talking to my current interest again last night but I think I went too far towards the end of the conversation. And it was too late for me to redeem myself or anything. So I left off saying a weird comment that I've actually already told them, but I just wanted to get a reaction out of them so I said it. Also it was 4am and I'm always a little weird at 4am.
Well they ended up not responding to that and ghosting me. And I think I got worried because I realized how weird I am and had a dream about it.
Basically the dream was:
We were messaging again and this conversation seems very realistic.
"Hey so are we a thing? Gtg"
"A what? A thing? Yes I guess so, we are things that are called humans. Some things we have in common are that we eat and sleep...."
Basically they confronted me if we were a thing and I dodged the question... since clearly I'm not ready. But luckily they played along, but if they asked, they must've kind of wanted it. But the dream made me reevaluate my thoughts on them. If I keep it up, maybe they're going to have thoughts like that about me and I dont know if I'm ready for that. So maybe I should lay off. Sheesh, dreams really do solve a lot of my problems.
So I think about that weird thing I said, I'm just going to ignore it and if they respond to it I'll explain and if not then whatever. I shouldn't be bothered by them anymore because I'm not sure if I want them anyway. I kind of don't want our relationship to go any further than this anyway... it's probably the best for the both of us. We're just down bad and we happen to only know each other due to covid. Once we start branching out we'll probably break apart and fall for other people.
Yup :/
