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"Losing my Favorite Person" by Park Chaeyoung
It had been another year without her. The love of my life. She died in my arms almost a year ago. Her name was (L/n) (Y/n) and here's her story.
Where should I start? (Y/n) had been born with cystic fibrosis though she didn't know until it was too late. If you don't know what CF is, that's okay because I'll explain it for you. Cystic fibrosis is an inherited life-threatening disorder that damages the lungs and digestive system.
It had been difficult for her to breathe by the time we had started dating though she never let it bother her. (Y/n) had continually said that it was normal and that she'd be fine. "I just need a few minutes to catch my breath and I'll be fine," Is what she would say in every waking moment that she couldn't breathe. She would cough, and cough, and cough and I wouldn't be able to help her though I would keep her company.
It hurt seeing her get so sick because she wasn't diagnosed sooner. I had asked her and asked her to try and get an appointment to the doctor to see what could be wrong. Though, every doctor she had been to said it was asthma. She wasn't diagnosed until I ordered for an autopsy, I knew it wasn't asthma though the doctors ignored the requests to have other tests done.
There was a point where (Y/n) had stopped eating because she was just so congested. We tried to get her treated once more, but they said it had progressed too much at the point. "I'm sorry, but we can't do anything for (Y/n)," The doctors admitted as they looked right into what felt like my soul.
It was heartbreaking, yes, every single step forward was heartbreaking because there were so many steps back. I had to stay strong to keep her happy, that was until she passed. If only I had fought harder for her, she would still be here. I would still be able to see that beautiful smile of hers.
(Y/n) was an amazing, strong and beautiful woman who knew how to say the right things and light up a room as soon as she walked in. It was one of the many things I loved about her, and I hope that after reading this blog that you'll see why.
Even though she was extremely sick, (Y/n) would care more for another person that wasn't herself. We would have friends over and be hosting like she was normal, that she wasn't severely ill. It was difficult seeing that she hid it from others, but I knew that she wanted to keep it in our little circle. She would give the best hospitality to those who needed a place to crash and would make sure they were always comfortable. If they didn't have enough food, she would provide and sometimes even make more. If they wanted water, she would make sure that it was the right temperature for them. No matter who it was or how close they were, she would always give them the best, her best.
Telling our friends about her death was just as hard as it was when she first passed. They loved (Y/n) just as much as I did, though they didn't know about her illness. "Why didn't she tell us? We could've helped," They would sob relentlessly trying to process the information. I would explain to them that it was her choice to keep it to herself. They never saw the red flags I did when her condition got worse, but we also stopped hosting as many gatherings.
The worst part was telling her parents. It was hard to get them to understand that their daughter was gone because of a medical condition that was right under their noses. "This can't be," Her mother would break down after hearing my hoarse voice explain her death. Her father looked to be deep in thought afterwards, like he knew it was bound to happen. I wanted to talk to him about it but he ignored me and told me to leave. Did he know and not tell anyone else?
I came on here to tell the story of an amazing person who had a life that was cut too short. I know there isn't a cure for cystic fibrosis but I know there is treatment. If anyone is a doctor, can you please tell me why it was undetected for so long?
Chaeyoung stood from her computer as she wiped her tear stained face. Blogging was her only solace to really get it out. Research didn't help. Talking with friends didn't. Her parents were worried for her mental health as she hasn't contacted them in months.
Briefly, Chaeyoung takes a break to grab a snack and use the restroom though a knock at the door caught her by surprise. She opens the door to see a familiar face. "Lisa, what are you doing here?" Lisa's face contorted into a look of confusion, "That's not a way to greet your best friend. I'm checking up on you, idiot."
"Why now?" Chaeyoung continued with the questions. "Because, everyone is worried about you. I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but it's about time you start," Lisa pestered as she hugged her friend tightly. "It hurt us all, Chae. She didn't deserve to live such a short life."
"I know," Chaeyoung broke down in Lisa's arms, her ran down her face once more, "I wish I could've helped her sooner," She sobbed into Lisa's shoulder. "It's okay, Chae. I've got you, let it all out," Lisa whispered quietly as she held her friend tighter. "I don't know what I'm ever going to do without (Y/n)."
"That's why you have Jennie, Jisoo, and I, we can help you grieve, Chae. We'll always be here for you," Lisa consoled as she gently rubbed Chaeyoung's back. "Please don't ever leave, Lisa," She whispered hoarsely. "I won't."
