Reunion of a second chance

Chapter 21

The Blind Concubine was still sitting where the Emperor had left him. His emotions were slowly coming back to him and he did not quite know what to do about them. They were all mixed together, making the Blind Concubine confused as a result.

After all, how could so much hurt, betrayal and hate for the Emperor coexist with love for the same man and a desire to want to apologize for slapping his helping hand away?

The Blind Concubine had gotten to know a completely different side of the Emperor in the last seven years. He could now not tell if the Emperor was a cold and cruel man who had once took the Blind Concubine's sight away and imprisoned him in the Cold palace, or a simple man who loved to spend time with the Blind Concubine and even brought him a new cat.

Now that 'Chime' was not here with him anymore, the Blind Concubine felt lonely and scared. He did not want to go back to those days when no one ever came to visit him. He would rather die.

Yes, the Emperor told the Blind Concubine that he would be released from the imperial palace and would be allowed to live on his own terms. Yes, the Emperor broke that promise and the Blind Concubine had not even known about it.

But had he not been quite happy here? Everything had been provided to him and the Emperor had even been keeping him company most of the time.

No, the Blind Concubine shook his head and started to tug at his hair in utter despair and confusion. He cannot think like this! The Blind Concubine was still angry at the Emperor for blinding him and condemning him to a life in darkness. And then also for deceiving him for so many years.

The Blind Concubine was being so emotional that he could barely breathe. All the contradicting feelings inside of him were making him feel weak. All he wanted to do was to roll himself into a small ball, go to sleep and never wake up to this cruel and confusing world.

Perhaps the Blind Concubine had just been born under an unlucky star. There was no other way how to explain all his misfortunes in this world. There was nothing he could do about it though and it hurt all the more to realize his utter insignificance. He was just the Emperor's plaything, nothing more. He had been from the first time he had seen the man.

The Blind Concubine suddenly felt so weak he just let himself fall back first onto the mattress. He wanted to sleep and be able to forget everything, all his life preferably.

The Blind Concubine's cat came to him and nuzzled at his hand. It was probably hungry because it was miaowling loudly and licking at the Blind Concubine's fingers. He should feed it.

However, the Blind Concubine could not find it in himself to move, at least not just yet. He only snuggled closer to his cat and buried his face in its soft fur. The cat let him do whatever he wanted and even stretched its back so it could be held better.

The Blind Concubine fell asleep with his cat as his sole companion and source of warmth in the coldness and darkness that was his life.

***

The Emperor had been just sitting at his desk and crying for who knew how long. He did not move an inch, he was completely stiff and only his tear glands seemed to have been working.

At one point however, he finally registered that there was someone in his room with him, shaking his shoulders and trying to get him to react. The Emperor just ignored them, he had no energy to do anything at all, much less talking at the moment.

He only forced himself to listen to the other person when the name of the Blind Concubine had already been mentioned several times. The Emperor knew what news he was going to hear, but he still braced himself and used all the strength of his will to lift his head.

It took his numb brain several seconds to realize who was standing in front of him. It was the imperial physician. The man's face was a mask of worry and he was scowling furiously. The Emperor could only imagine what he must have looked like if the physician was this out of his usual collected demeanour.

"Oh, thank all the gods," the imperial physical sighed and immediately let go of the Emperor's shoulders and bowed a little as if I apology. "I was afraid we would never get you back Your Majesty."

The Emperor only blinked several times. He then scowled after understanding the words. He did not want to hear what was happening to him, he knew that already and he did not care. All he wanted to know was what had happened to the Blind Concubine.

"Your Majesty?" tried the imperial physician again. Obtaining the same result.

The Emperor scowled a little bit more. He wanted to ask what was wrong with the Blind Concubine even though he probably knew the best. He opened his mouth with great deal of effort but nothing came out of it.

He closed his mouth and shook his head. His voice would just not obey him. It was weird but he already knew what it felt like to not be able to speak. Even if before it had been his own choice and now apparently his body was working against him.

"Your Majesty?" asked the imperial physical again and the worry was back on his face.

The Emperor was now getting irritated with the man. Luckily, this anger at the imperial physician somehow riled up his strength. He gestured to the physician to be quiet and then reached for a paper and a writing brush which were always kept on his work table for convenience.

"What happened to the Blind Concubine?" The Emperor wrote with shaking fingers and then pushed the note to the imperial physician.

The man scowled so much that his whole forehead became an angry see of wrinkles. He looked at the Emperor, very visibly going to ask about the Emperor's own health and tell him nothing about the Blind Concubine.

The Emperor shook his head again, with more vigour this time. He tapped on the note, attracting the imperial physician's attention back to it. This time, at least the man read it.

The doctor must have also understood that the Emperor would not let the matter go. He sighed and informed him: "The Blind Concubine has collapsed. When the servants who usually bring him food came to tell me he had not eaten anything again, I went to check on the Blind Concubine. I thought Your Majesty should know."

The Emperor lowered his head and closed his eyes. Of course the Blind Concubine would collapse after such an experience. His health has always been fragile. It was all the Emperor's fault, all of it.

The Emperor did not wait for anything and picked up the brush again. He wrote another message just under the previous one: "Go take care of the Blind Concubine."

When the doctor looked like he would oppose the order, the Emperor added: "Leave, I want to be alone."

He glared fiercely at the imperial physician. The man finally understood that the Emperor was not about to step down on this one. In the end, he nodded his head in acknowledgement.

"As Your Majesty orders. I will go check on the Blind Concubine again and see that he eats something. I will be back to check on Your Majesty's health in the evening."

They both stared at each other for a while, both determined to not concede. In the end, the Emperor nodded; he did not want to waste time, the imperial physician should already be on his way to the Blind Concubine.

The doctor bowed after that and reminded him as he was leaving the door: "Your Majesty should rest. I will send some food here on my way."

The Emperor did not have more energy to react to that. He was exhausted both body and soul. And yet, he knew he would not be able to rest. The Blind Concubine's hurt and betrayed expression was haunting him even when he was awake.