Reunion of a second chance

Chapter 15

The Emperor felt something change slightly. He had not noticed in the beginning; it had been very gradual but his relationship with the Blind Concubine had shifted into something more. At first, it had been just the Emperor taking care of the Blind Concubine, but lately, there really seemed to have been some progress.

The Blind Concubine would gain more self-confidence around him and would always smile when the Emperor was near. The Blind Concubine would often take the Emperor's hand even though he could by now navigate his home and the small island perfectly by himself just by using his walking stick. He would also become needier and sometimes ask the Emperor to spend more time with him.

The Emperor loved this change but was scared of it at the same time. It made him remember that time when he had used to pretend to be a palace guard and when he had had all the Blind Concubine's happiness and love in the palm of his hand.

It truly terrified him to know that all of this could be destroyed so easily. Just like last time, with just a few words and actions.

The Emperors always slept very poorly nowadays and he would wake up in the middle of the night covered in cold sweat. He had nightmares of the Blind Concubine finding out about his true identity.

The Emperor dreaded that his Blind Concubine could once again reject him and the whole world. That had been why he had at first put together this lie about releasing the Blind Concubine from the palace. He did not want to see him not eating and not caring about life anymore, just withering away day in and day out until there would be nothing of the Blind Concubine left.

He felt like he would die together with the Blind Concubine. Nothing in his life was more important that his love for the Blind Concubine.

That is why, he had tried really hard to keep his distance. He would always act a little coldly with the Blind Concubine. However, the Emperor found himself unable to actually pretend like he did not care about the Blind Concubine at all or refuse when he had been asked to spend more time on the small island in the middle of the lotus lake.

He knew fully well that he was risking. The Blind Concubine could learn his secret any second the Emperor spent with him. Or the people residing in the palace could finally become too curious about his secret concubine and could come snooping around in earnest.

Some had already been approaching the Blind Concubine way too much for the Emperor's liking. They would come to take a peek when the Emperor was off the island with the Blind Concubine. The Emperor's guards would sometimes catch a spy, either paid by the court officials or by the Emperor's mother, when they would be getting close to the small island.

Luckily, until now, no one had actually gotten through the security. The Emperor's secret seemed to be safe.

That did not however mean the Emperor could rest easy. He always had to be on high alert whether he was spending his time with the Blind Concubine or not. He did not know how long he would still be able to keep all of this up. The Emperor felt he was getting thin in his skin and in his pretence.

***

The Blind Concubine was truly starting to feel something for Chime. And it was not just gratitude, he knew better than to think that. He had been in love once before and he knew how that felt. It was the same this time.

He was however afraid that Chime would not like it if he confessed his feeling. Perhaps he had even already guessed something because he was acting kind of off and awkward around the Blind Concubine lately.

It was making the Blind Concubine truly sad. After so many years, he had finally found someone that he wanted to stay by his side, but his feelings were not returned. Then again, when had they ever had been?

The last time he had felt loved and cared for remained in the distant past, when he had been just a boy living in the city surrounding the imperial palace. He should have never come to the palace with his father on that faithful day. Ever since he had lost his sight, the whole was just not the same ever again.

The Blind Concubine had lost his family all of a sudden and had been thrown into the Cold palace and kept there. Of course, he had had his trusted servant, but their relationship remained just that: master and servant. The Blind Concubine had tried numerous times to overcome this obstacle and befriend his servant, but he had never succeeded.

When he had found his first friend in the palace, and even someone he had fallen in love with over time, that someone had turned out to be the Emperor himself. The Blind Concubine had felt so betrayed and hurt that he had not wanted to carry on with his life anymore.

That was why, he was now afraid of his own feelings. Especially when he could not bring himself to speak a word aloud about them to Chime. The Blind Concubine was scared to death that his friend – he wanted Chime to be much more than that! – would reject him. The Blind Concubine would then be surely left all on his own again, without any reason to live.

For that reason, he held himself back as much as he could. Still, there were times when the Blind Concubine felt too familiar and happy by Chime's side and he overstepped his boundaries. During those moments, he would mostly unconsciously reach out to Chime and his friend would pull back.

This pattern was repeating itself for the last several months. The Blind Concubine could only thank the gods that Chime had not yet decided to leave him and never come back. He was such a loyal friend.

Still, the Blind Concubine could not help but to be terrified of the day when Chime would up and leave him because he would have no more patience with him. He knew he was playing dirty but he decided to try and deceive Chime into spending even more time with him. And hopefully become a little closer.

The Blind Concubine had a plan in mind already.