Reunion of a second chance

Chapter 23

The Blind Concubine was alone again. The imperial physician left to take care of the Emperor and the Blind Concubine had only his thoughts and his cat to keep him company.

And what thoughts these were! The Blind Concubine did not think that he could be any more confused with the Emperor's behaviour than he had already been. Well, turned out he had been wrong.

He still despised the Emperor for taking a normal life and his childhood from him. It had not been and was not easy to live without seeing and while being constantly locked like a bird in a cage, always under surveillance.

However, the Blind Concubine had not been so unhappy as of late. He had had so much fun with 'Chime' and he had felt like he had been living a worthwhile and full life at last. The Emperor made that possible.

Although the Emperor had deceived the Blind Concubine, he was also the source of all his happiness as of late. He had done what he could for the Blind Concubine. He had even not spoken for the last seven years!

The Blind Concubine could only imagine how hard it must have been. If he had not been blind, he would have surely not been able to keep his eyes closed for years. Granted that the Emperor still behaved normally whenever he was not with the Blind Concubine, but still.

It must have been maddening and sometimes infuriating. The Blind Concubine truly knew that helplessness better than anyone, he had lived with it for the bigger part of his life. Such a sacrifice would have surely not been done only for the sole purpose of torturing the Blind Concubine.

The Blind Concubine now wondered whether there had truly been something more, something deeper and more meaningful between him and the Emperor. If the Blind Concubine meant something to the Emperor while the man had spent most of his time by his side.

Last but not least, there were also the Blind Concubine's own feelings. He could try to convince himself that the Emperor was a terrible man and do his best to hate him. However, it was not as simple in reality.

The Blind Concubine could not just erase the last seven years from his memory. Although the name he associated with those happy times was different, the man whom he had spent them with had been the Emperor.

So, why would the Emperor go to such lengths for the Blind Concubine? Could it be that there had been a speck of truth in the imperial physician's words? Could it be possible that instead of torturing him, the Emperor was really trying to help him and make him happy? Could it be that the Emperor actually loved the Blind Concubine?

But how could that be? Was it not the man himself who had once taken everything from the Blind Concubine and imprisoned him in the Cold palace? Should the Blind Concubine not hate and despise the Emperor for hurting him and deceiving him for years?

And yes, it had been years from that faithful moment, seventeen to be exact. Now that the Blind Concubine was thinking about it in this way, it was a long time to hold a grudge. It was a long time to still blame someone for a single thing they had done out of desperation.

The Emperor had only been a teenager himself at that time. Sure, he had been older than the Blind Concubine, but still a child himself. Perhaps he had not thought about the consequences of taking away the Blind Concubine's sight. Perhaps he had just been too terrified of anyone finding out what he had been doing.

And had the Emperor not tried to make things up to the Blind Concubine for the last decade? Perhaps the Blind Concubine should indeed go and see him one last time.

He wanted to hear the reason for all of this and the Emperor's side of the story for himself. The Blind Concubine was sure that he would not be able to let go of those insecurities which were torturing him if he would not do that.

He needed a closure, in one way or another. He could not go on like this; he would lose the life he had built for himself.

***

The Emperor was laying in his bed, waiting for the end to come. Over the last few days, there had been many people coming to see him.

The court officials wanted him to take back his place as the ruler or the country. The imperial physician wanted him to start taking care of himself. The Emperor's mother wanted him to stop being weak and preserve his position as the Emperor before someone would steal it away.

All in all, the Emperor was exhausted. Not only from his fever and his heartbreak over the Blind Concubine. He was exhausted from everyone wanting something from him. He was not a normal man in everyone's eyes. He was the Emperor and everyone had expectations of him.

It was only now that he had come to truly appreciate the times he had had with the Blind Concubine. The Emperor had tasted what a simple and happy life could be like and he could not find it in himself to just abandon it.

And most importantly, he was still agonizing over hurting the Blind Concubine. He wanted to apologize, to go see how the other was faring. To confirm if everything the imperial physician had been telling him was true. He needed to know that the Blind Concubine was fine.

Yet, the Emperor could not do any of those. He could not go see the Blind Concubine ever again. The Emperor knew that he would only hurt him all that more. The only times he could see him was when the Emperor was dreaming or hallucinating.

Just like right now. The Emperor heard the door to his room open.

That was a normal occurrence as people apparently did not want to leave him alone with his suffering. He turned his head away from the door and closed his eyes. He hoped that if he would pretend to sleep, that person would just go away. He had no strength to deal with anything anymore.

It seemed however that the person was not deterred in the slightest. The door closed again and the Emperor just sighed internally. He really did not want to see anyone at all. He wanted both the real world and the world of his hallucinations to finally let him go. He wanted to close his eyes and never open them again.

The person in his room only had to take two careful and a little hesitant steps for the Emperor to recognize what kind of dream he was having. He knew who had come to see him.

Despite his previous unwillingness, the Emperor immediately opened his eyes and sat up to greet his visitor. He completely ignored the weakness in his limbs and his spinning head.

Hope was such a treacherous thing one could never let go of. The Emperor wanted to see the Blind Concubine.