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When you crashed and your heart dipped and sank and fell to the bottom of a deep, dark well, you were just starting to find something new in the joy you had with Jake. It was broken off, but you were still safe in his hold.

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It was early in the summer after second year, and your father had gotten into a car crash. You heard of it when you returned from a close female friend's house and at first you wouldn't believe it.

Your mother was crying at the kitchen island and your grandmother was sitting silently on the couch. She was the one to tell you. As soon as you entered the house, you'd noticed something was off, and panic struck you in the chest when you heard crying.

You threw off your shoes and, nearly tripping and falling, ran to the living room. "What? What happened? Where's dad?" You scanned the room. Your grandmother was silent and her eyes were red from crying. When you looked over the couch to the kitchen, your mother was taking heavy sobbing breaths and shakily holding her phone to her ear.

"What happened?" You whispered. You swallowed thickly and looked to your grandmother. She motioned you to come and you sat stiffly on the couch next to her. She pulled you to her soft body and you took in her flowery scent. "What happened?" You asked again.

"Your Papa got into an accident." She said as she softly brushed a hand over your hair. You took in a sharp breath and tried to push yourself up but she held onto you. She continued. "The doctors do not think he will make it." She croaked.

"No." You struggled against her but she again didn't let you. You pressed your face into your grandmothers chest. "This is a joke." You said in a breaking voice. Your grandmother sighed. A heavy sigh filled with pain and the sense that this wasn't the first time she'd experienced a death like this. "I'm afraid not, my baby." She murmured.

A hiccup escaped your lips and, as hard as you tried not to, you started to cry. Cry and cry and cry, worse than you ever had. Not much of anything else, not sobbing not screaming. Just crying your eyes out with your breath hot and your eyes burning.

"I'm so sorry." Your grandmother whispered. You shook your head against her warmth. "It's not your fault."

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Later, you sat curled up in your bed with the blanket over your head. You didn't even bother looking when the door creaked open. "What?" You asked hoarsely.

"Do you want to come down?" Your mother asked in an almost whisper. You glared at your mattress. "How's dad?"

"He might not make it through the night..." Your mother said softly. Her voice broke and you felt selfish for not caring about her. Guilt swirled sickeningly in your stomach. You should be over there, hugging her, and you should be crying together. Even so, here you were all alone in your room. "Go away." You muttered.

"Jake wants to see you. He heard what happened." Your mother whispered meekly. You glanced over at the door, all the while feeling more tears push at your bottom lash line. "Okay..Let him in." You murmured. You directed your gaze back to your duvet and blinked for a moment before shutting your eyes.

When you felt Jake's warm arms wrap around you, you barely reacted. You let your eyes flutter open and studied the soft artificial glow of the lamp as it fell on your bedsheets.

"He'll make it. I promise." Was the first thing Jake said. You whimpered and tugged at his arms, twisting around in his grip so that you were facing his warmth. Jake squeezed you, breathing his hot breath into your hair. It fluttered warmly against your ear and you wanted to cry all over again.

Suddenly, you were jumping, startled because Jake's phone was ringing. It was a strange, almost alien sound in the silence. Jake pulled his phone out of his pocket, going to decline before you noticed the caller ID. "It's Jay." You croaked.

Jake blinked. "Oh, I didn't see." His eyebrows furrowed. "I wonder how he's doing." He accepted the call and put it on speaker. It sounded like Jay was walking, pacing perhaps. "Jake! Is y/n okay? I can't reach their phone."

Jake breathed a soft sigh of some sort of relief. "Yeah. Y/n's here." He held the phone towards you and you shook your head, pulling at the blanket thrown over your shoulders. Jake pushed his phone forwards and you swallowed thickly. "Hi." You said softly.

Jay cursed. "Fuck. Yah, y/n, are you okay?"

"Not really." You leaned into Jake and felt him instinctively wrap you up in a half hug. You took in a breath. "I'm scared." You whispered. Jake ran his hands up and down your arms, kissing your temple. You looked up at him with your eyes blurry with tears. "He takes care of me more than my mom." You told the boys.

Jake held you tight and Jay breathed softly. Some small part of your mind remembered the fairytale safety you'd had with Sunghoon. All three of them at once. You blocked out Sunghoon.

"Hey, he'll be alright. Your dad's a strong man." Jay said. You could feel his weak smile filter through the call. "Remember when he thought we were dating? No offense Jake, but he overreacted and tried to fight me."

You laughed hoarsely and Jake giggled along, murmuring a "None taken." About the offense. You closed your eyes and leaned back into Jake's chest. Jake adjusted himself for both of your comfort and put his hands under your shirt, placing his warm hands on your cold stomach. It was a strange but comforting form of affection.

"Just hang on, y/n. Your dad will too. Have a nice night." Jay said softly. "Bye."

"Bye." You murmured. Jake nodded and took the phone from you as it slipped from your fingers. "Bye." He told Jay, and next thing you knew, the ring tone was filling the silence and your eyes were hot with sleep and dry from crying.

Jake shifted and you felt him pull you up. Your eyes fluttered open. "What?" You murmured. Jake gently pushed you down and pulled the blankets around you before settling next you. "You're tired, sleep." He whispered.

"I'm staying awake until we get more news, or at least until you go home." You mumbled, tucking your hands up to your chest. Jake hugged you close and pressed his forehead to yours. His soft breath touched the bridge if your nose. "I'll sleep over. Someone or the other will text my mom when they see us asleep."

"Alright." You frowned. Your face dropped into expressionlessness. "I'm still scared."

Jake drew circles on your hip with his free hand before pulling you close into a hug. "It'll work out." He whispered.

"Okay.." You said unsurely. Your eyes were falling shut when Jake tilted your chin up. Everything was warm, almost too warm and absolutely soft and gentle. The lights were dim and night showed through the window. "Hey." Jake murmured softly.

Your eyes opened the slightest bit, but fell shut again when he placed his lips on yours. Just like with your first kiss, you had no idea how unprepared you were. Jake's one hand held onto your shoulder softly and the other traced your face. Your hands were trapped between the two of you, but you were perfectly fine to melt under his sweet kisses.

A strange feeling of bliss but sadness coursed through you. Worry for your dad, worry that this might not last. You were scared in so many ways, unsure in so many ways and frightened of all sorts of flaws you could discover.

But at the same time, you were over the moon. This is exactly what you wanted. This was everything. Your entire world had been turned upside down, but in the best way possible.

Sweet, sweet kisses that tasted like rose milk, soft touches to your skin. Gentle sighs and safety.

Everything.

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