Tally

Chapter 13: Aftermath

I have no friends. I should have known that I had no friends initially. I was gullible and naive to think that I did. Someone like me thinking that the world suddenly gives them a chance is nothing but a plot from a movie.

I couldn't talk to them the entire day, and I shouldn't. I was just played by them for money and nothing else. So all those gaming moments, all those talks about being together, weren't real.

"Nolan, stop dreaming and eat or else your food would get cold," mom said.

Can you please shut up! I know that the time is dinner but do you even know what I am going through? Don't you see your son's emotions raging everywhere, frustrated with what happened? Your son is being troubled because his "friends" lied to him, and you can't take notice!?

"Nolan, I've got a message from your teacher. It says that you haven't submitted your work," she continued. "I know that you have been making great progress with your assessments and projects, but if you choose to keep playing than doing your work, I will take away your computer."

"Whatever," I muttered quietly.

Sadly this response was heard by my mother. A shocked and furious expression, "Nolan, what did you just say to me?"

"I said whatever," I repeated. School, games, what use are they for me. I was terrible at it in the beginning. I only chose to get good grades because I was told to, but now I am sick.

"Nolan, stop acting like that one more time, or I will-"

"Or you will what? Huh? What will you do?" Abandon me, scold me. I've already listened to your nagging so many times. I lived by your rules and respected them because you are my mother but do you even see me as your son?

"Young man, I don't know where this attitude is coming from but to assume you're still stupid to listen to your mom's instruction." She continues with her voice getting louder from every word she says.

"I can listen very clearly, but I don't care about my work."

"Do you know how much money we put into raising you?"

Money. Money again, what is with you people and money. First, it was Roman and Roland. Now you brought it up again. Is money all people care about in this time and age. Is the money worth sacrificing everything else just to earn it?

"That's your fault for spending money on useless things."

"Useless!?" She exclaimed, "We spent our own work and time to make sure you get the best of the best education possible! To get you to a place where you can guarantee success, you call it useless!"

"Of course, cause all you care about is my grades, just send me to a public school or something. I never asked you to spend all that money on me!"

"So you're saying we don't care about you!" She retorted.

"When have you even cared about me!?" I snapped.

At that moment, I didn't realize what I had just said. Was that how I really felt about my mother, the person who gave birth to me, the person who raised me? What would I be like to dad if I was like this to mom? I need to apologize, but it was already too late.

"Get out. Just get out of my sight. Go to your room now and just leave in the morning," my mom said with tears flowing out her eyes.

Those were the last words she said. I ran to my room with massive amounts of resentment in me. Why? Why is everything going so downhill? I made it to my room. I slammed the door and instantly locked it.

Hatred was all I could feel. Hatred was directed at my parents, hatred directed at Roland and Roman, and lastly myself. My head hurts, and I can't think straight. What do I do now? What can I do? It feels hopeless trying to resolve the issue. Why was I given such a cruel fate?

My emotions became unstable. I was going crazy with multiple feelings hurting me in every direction. I want to rest. I opened my drawer again and saw the container of sleeping pills. I have taken it daily now, and lately, my consumption of it has gotten more as its effects are getting less effective as time goes on. Just wanting my desire to sleep and move on from this nightmare, I took five pills on my hand and began consuming all of them. I can feel it kick in as I rest my head on the bed. Please just let me rest.