Family Lies

Dottie

Saturday Morning

I woke up in my hotel bed such a long time ago. My water drinking ass had to pee all early, like... 5:44 in the morning before the sun left it's mark on the sky and I ain't barely moved an inch since. I was mad as hell. Like not only do I wake up early— but I wake up early and uncomfortable. I still wasn't getting up though, shit. I just bore out of the window thinking about all the decisions I'd made while trying to decipher which ones I felt were good, bad, or indifferent. I laid there for hours as I watched the sky turn pink and it was then that I realized most of my choices revolved around my husband and his needs rather than me and mine. I could finally say that we were so much better than we were before— and not be lying to myself. But I just couldn't convince myself that we were truly worth the cost. Even if I don't have to jump at the sound of his voice no more or if I can count on wakin' up to designer gifts at least once a week— none of it was never worth losing my first borns. It wasn't ever worth Treasure's innocence and it wasn't ever worth True's happiness. I didn't even bother to wipe the tears falling from my eyes as I sat up to stare at the sun. And just when I did my cell phone started ringing. I grabbed it and flipped it open to see Donna calling me.

"Good mornin' sis," I said while wiping my face dry.

"Get all that frog out your throat. It's way too early to be that emotional." I just shook my head, wanting to laugh but I couldn't. I was feeling way too down about all my guilt to find the energy for laughter.

"Hey girl. What you doin'?" I crossed my legs while still staring out of the window.

"I was callin' to say I know we wasn't supposed to go out until later but I'm gonna make a big breakfast. So get on over here. And Tré is usually gettin' up around this time so if you hurry you might get to make breakfast with us."

"Ight, I'll be there soon."

"Good. See you when you get here."

My big sister hung up and I took a deep breath before getting up to get myself together for the day. Before I knew it I was running to the bathroom child I was bout ready to bust, okay?! After a quick hot shower and brushing my teeth I was standing in the mirror to do my makeup when I heard my phone ring. When I ran to get it I saw that it was no other than Mr. Irving Edwards himself. "Hey baby," I answered and tucked my phone between my ear and my shoulder as I went back in the bathroom to finish doing my makeup. "Good mornin' Dot. I miss you woman." I let out the smallest laugh. "I miss you too, Irv. I'm surprised you not busy right now. You at work?"

"I am actually. But I had a minute to myself and I decided to use it to catch up with you. Are you enjoyin' yourself? How's Donna?" I started setting my face with powder as I switched my phone over to my other ear.

"She's doin' really good... she... has the twins. Both of them." I heard Irving sigh. "Really? Well when did that happen?"

"She's had True for years now but... she just got Treasure a few weeks ago. He did it again, babe." I was tempted to break down and cry but I was sure Irving wouldn't know how to comfort me even if he wanted to. "What are you talkin' about Dot?" I huffed. "Raymond. He's been molestin' Treasure. For years."

"W— what? That can't be right," Irving sounded genuinely surprised. "It's true, Irv. My niece Marilyn found out about it and went and snatched her up out of Dollie's house. Me and Donna was sittin' outside just talkin' yesterday and I was about to go back in the house to go to the kitchen and I heard Treasure talkin' about it with her friend." I went back to the room to sit on the edge of the bed. "She's so confused. And I know she's hurting. And I know True is hurting... and I can't help but to feel like all of this is my fault."