Family Lies

Treasure

Me and Nic played one on one for like a hour before she got tired of getting her ass handed to her.

We took a seat over in the grass under a tree to chat it up. "I ain't gone lie I missed hangin' out witchu, Baby," I admitted and watched Nicci's cheeks go rosy.

"I missed hearin' you call me Baby. After a while I started thinking I lost my best friend for good. I'm glad that's not really the case." I shook my head. "You know I never really stopped thinkin' of you as my friend. I just... got caught up in some bullshit." I tore my eyes from Nic's and looked all the way across the park. "I know I can't relate because I ain't ever been through nothin' like that. But like I told you before, if you ever need to vent or talk about that I'm here for you."

"Y'all all talk about it like I was traumatized or somethin'," I said with a shake of my head. 

"You ain't hurt?"

"Hell yeah I'm hurt. But y'all think I'm hurt because my 'daddy' been taking advantage of me. But the truth of the matter is I hadn't thought of him as my 'daddy' in years. From the way he treated me to everything that had went down... it was easy to forget all about that part of our relationship. He was just a man to me."

Nic took my hand and held it without saying anything.

"Marilyn said something that does make me think about it a lil differently though."

"What's that?"

"Well... she asked me would I be okay with that same situation if it was Jam or my daughter and her father or any other man his age for the matter. I know for sure I would be goin' to jail for killing somebody behind my child."

"You ever think maybe... subconsciously you became so okay with it because you ain't want that to be any of your other sisters?"

I nodded. "Not too long ago I dreamt about the time Dollie was ready to send me back over there after the first time he touched me. I was terrified, Nic. Mahzya was terrified. That dream made me remember how what he did hurt so bad. It made me remember how I begged him to stop the first handful of times. I didn't even know what was going on really. He told me we was playing some game and I believed him. I honestly forgot about those days for a long while but then... when Dollie kept having those kids and they was old enough to understand, the first thing I taught them was what a good touch and a bad touch was. I told them to come to me before they went to Dollie because I knew she wouldn't protect them cuz by then... she ain't even care enough to try to see or speak to them everyday."

"I hate that you had to learn to live like that. I really do. But it's over now, Tré. You was strong for you and for those girls for such a long time. But now the only person you gotta be strong for is you."

I huffed while wrapping my arms around my knees. "I know. Can I ask you somethin'?"

"Of course."

"Have you noticed that me and Mahzya ain't really tight like that no more?"

Nic nodded. "Yeah. I been meanin' to ask you what's up with that."

I shrugged. "Tell you the truth Nic, I just... been so damn jealous of her."

"Jealous? For what Tré?"

I shrugged even though I knew the exact root of my jealousy. "Even though Dollie just been getting worse and worse she always had love to give Mahzya. Whether she was high or not. Whether she had money or not. After a while I stopped caring about not getting her love but I couldn't even get no basic respect from her. But she rubbed that shit in my face day in and day out. Me and Mahzya shared that room up until the day she moved in with Aunt Donna. I would wake up to see Dollie holding her like she wanted to protect her from the world. If Dollie had ten dollars she gave Mahzya five and told me I wasn't worth shit so I wasn't gettin' shit. Anything I ever wanted I had to get it myself whether I had to steal it or do somethin' for it. Mahzya don't know shit about what that's like. But I do."