Family Lies

Divine

One Month Later

“This is so ghettoooooo,” I whined in disbelief as I looked around the tiny box my mom had told me I had to make my room. “I know I don’t hear you complainin’,” my mother appeared behind me. I turned around with my arms folded across my chest and I cocked my head to the side a little bit. “I wanna go home.” She sighed. “Divine, this is home.”

“No it’s not. Home is in PA. With dad. I don’t wanna live here. I wanna live with dad. You said you were divorcing— okay. Niggas break up everyday. But why did I have to get shipped across the country to live in this dusty ole shoebox?! I’ve been soooo good! You haven’t even caught me smokin’ weed or nothin’.”

My mom twisted her face all crazy as she looked me up and down. “You smoke weed?”

“No. I was givin’ you an example of why bad kids get punished and hopin’ that you’d see you're punishin’ me for no reason.”

She shook her head before taking my hand to hold. “Have a seat with me Divine. Let’s talk.” She pulled me over to the twin bed to sit me down. “I.J.! Come here baby!” She hollered out and my eyes went so big before I rolled them. “Mommy, you don’t have enough house to yell that loud anymore. Please. My ears.” My mom gasped and laughed and pushed my shoulder gently and it was clear she didn’t realize how serious I was. Lil Irv came in my room taking a bite out of the sandwich he was probably making when our mom called him.

“What’s crackin’ ma?” He asked with a mouth full of peanut butter and jelly. “Sit down. I need to talk to you and your sister.”

My brother sat on a box in the corner of my room and I looked back to our mom to see her stressing in a way I’d only seen her stress when her and my dad were arguing.

“So… I know I told you I was leaving your dad and… I know you’re probably wondering why I had to move all the way to Cali to do it. There are a few reasons why. And I feel like you should know all of them.”

“Oh I can’t wait to hear this,” I said while taking my hand from her to sit up against the wall and cross my legs.

“Well… I really missed home. When me and your dad got married we was so young and I’d do anything to support him because he never hesitated to support me. So I left and… I left my family behind. And as we lived life together it just got more and more complicated. For me, anyway. I got pregnant about… a year and some change before I had you Divine.”

“You did?” I asked, confused and speechless for what felt like the first time in my life.

My mom just nodded. “I did. I came home— here to Cali. And while I was here somebody did somethin’ to me. And I ended up pregnant from it. And it drove me and your dad to fight so many times.”

“I’m sorry Mommy. What happened to the baby?” I asked, looking between her and Lil Irv. She shrugged. “I had ‘em.”

“It was a boy?” My brother butted in.

“They were twins. A boy and a girl.” I gasped with a question in my head. “Was it… True and Tré?” My mom only nodded as she bit her lip and stared out of the window. “Yo, for real?” Lil Irv asked damn near dropping his sandwich. “Yeah. Anyway, Divine you were way too young to remember. But I had them until they were about three and a half. You were about to turn two. Y’all were my world. All three of you. But me and your dad weren’t doin’ good back then. I loved y’all so much that y’all made my dark days so much brighter. But I felt like I wasn’t doin’ that for y’all in return. And I knew I wasn’t doin’ that for your dad and he damn sure wasn’t doin’ that for me. So I tried to hurt myself. And I was in a coma for a few months. And when I came out of the coma I found out that the twins biological father found out about them. And he used what he knew about me and your dad and about my mind not being right to get sole custody of the twins when he knew there was nothin’ I could do to fight for them. I know… we’re all very far from the place we used to call home. But I brought y’all here with me because I don’t wanna lose no more time with them. And I don’t wanna lose time with y’all either.”

“Why you ain’t get them back when you woke up? Do they know they’re yours?” I asked. “I tried. I tried a lot. But goin’ to family court with what the courts knew was like playin’ a rigged game. So I stopped fightin’ for them. They know I’m their mother. True’s always known. And Treasure found out not too long ago. She’s upset because I didn’t tell her upfront. I wanna work that out.”

“No wonder she felt so much like a big sister. She is my big sister. Maybe I could talk to her if it would help.”

“That ain’t your burden to bear baby. But thank you. She don’t wanna see me right now and that’s fine. I’m sure she’d love to see you though. If you don’t see her around the halls at school after break I’ll have True put you two in touch.”

“Um, speakin’ of break! We havin’ Thanksgiving here too?!” I asked.

“Wow. I actually wasn’t thinkin’ about the holiday. I can’t say I was lookin’ forward to it either. I been trynna find a gallery to host a auction. We might just join Donna and the kids.”

“Mommy, you really gonna sell your originals? I never thought you’d let them go,” I nearly whined for her. “Hey. I need the money so I gotta do what I gotta do.”

“Daddy really ain’t givin’ you nothin’? Not even for us?”

“No. And I ain’t gone beg him for nothin’ either.”

“I’ll ask him for money. I’ll say… I wanna get into an extracurricular and I need money for stuff or somethin’,” I suggested and my mom just shook her head. “Divine, no. We ain’t doin’ that. I got an interview for a job where your Aunt Donna works at the hospital tomorrow. You always gone have food to eat, clothes on your back, and a place to lay your head. Anything else is extra. It ain’t gone be like this forever. I promise.”

“Hey, why don’t you go tag somethin’? Like how you told us you used to do back in the day? Street art culture is still poppin’. I ain’t never seen as much paint and graffiti in PA in my whole life as I saw here today. Not even in Philly.” I laughed. “I’m too old for that.”

“Too old?! Now when I say that it’s a problem!” I said and my mom laughed. “No, really I am. I ran from too many cops back in my day. And I can’t climb no fence or jump off the top of no bus, I done had four kids.” She touched her back like just the thought had her feeling aches and pains. 

“Maaaaa! I’ll help!” I solicited my mom’s ‘girl I’ll slap you to sleep’ look. “Hell no. I would never ever put you in a situation like that.”

I huffed. “Fine,” I said as I stood. “Please exit my shoebox so I can decorate it and try to make it look like somethin’.”

Lil Irv stood up and left and my mom wrapped her arms around me squeezing me. “I love you Divine. We gone be ight baby. I promise.” She kissed my cheek and left me on my lonely.