Family Lies

True

I jiggled the knob on the front door and the bitch fell off. I huffed. “Look at this raggedy ass shit,” I mumbled as I pushed the door open and let myself into the house I’d spent the darkest part of my childhood in. Everything was still the same. The living room was empty— except for the funky ass trash bags that sat all around filled with a combination of dirty clothes and actual trash. A big ass rat ran in the kitchen as soon as I stepped inside. And ain’t nothing come on when I flicked the light switches by the door.

“Yo!” I announced my presence. Nobody answered back though.

I shook my head as I hustled up the steps and knocked on the master bedroom door. But again, no answer. I pushed the door open to find just who I was looking for asleep on the floor under a blanket. I don’t know who would buy that dirty ass mattress from under her, but it was looking like she’d sold it along with most of the other things in the house. All that was left here was her dirty ass blanket, her dirty ass pipe, her dirty ass spoon, her dirty ass needle, and her dirty ass. And that framed picture my mom gave her with a hole about the size of her head in the center of it. I could never forget the look on Tré’s face the day we watched Raymond smash it over her head before he slammed the door shut to keep bumping her around in there. They was fighting because he’d realized she was gettin’ high off his supply again. But the way that shit escalated… it ended a whole different way. I went inside and sat up against the wall to watch and see if she was breathing. And she was.

“Yo,” I said and pushed her shoulder and she just turned over.

“Yo!” I repeated louder and finally her eyes popped open. She sat up kissing my hand and putting on a smile. “Hey mama’s baby. H— hi my baby. You got somethin’ for mama? Huh? D— did you bring mama somethin’?”

“You know I know you ain’t my mother,” I informed Dollie as I watched her face fall. “Ight then shit. You got anything for me boy?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. I came over here because I had a few questions I wanted to ask you.”

Dollie sat up sighing as she pulled a tore up pack of cigarettes out of her pocket and jammed a half smoked one between her lips. 

“Gimme a light.” I handed over a lighter like she asked. She lit her cigarette and blew that stank ass smoke into the air before throwing the lighter back.

“Fuck you want boy?”

“Did you know?”

“Did I know what?”

“Did you know Raymond raped my mom?”

I watched her roll her eyes as she looked away to suck her cigarette.

“Did you know he raped my mom?! Yes or no?!” I demanded an answer.

“Yeah. I knew.”

“He told you?”

“He ain’t have to tell me that. How the hell you think Marilyn got here? And— and what the hell did your sister name those last three?”

“Summer, Kashmir and Jam?”

“Yeah. How the hell you think they all got here?”

“So you knew who he really was… and you still let him take us from her… you still let us around him. What the hell is wrong witchu?”

“What the hell was I supposed to do? Yeah he did that shit… but he was still yo dad.”

I shrugged as I stood to my feet. “I don’t know. Get clean. Get a job.” I turned to walk out the door but she grabbed onto my ankle and I looked down to see her hugging it. She looked up at me.