America the Poor: A Wanderers Tale, Vol Two

Chapter 13:The Great Outdoors,with Barbed Wire and Idiots

No sooner had I drifted into the forgiving blissful dark, than I felt an entire earthquake around me. I was blinded by light, and the bed shook under me, a loud voice was telling me to fucking get up. I did my best to ignore both events. I covered my eyes with the blanket, and attempted to get back to the blessed darkness, it fully called to me right then.

The undeniable light stayed on, but the bed stopped shaking, and I drifted back into the void for now. At least for 30 more minutes, then the loud voice returned, with immense force. My personal darkness was snatched from my sight, and the bed shook far harder than it ever did before. If this was an earthquake in downtown Los Angeles, it would have been a 9.0 intensity!

The male staff shook my bed relentlessly, and I was very tempted to commit morning violence. It was about to become a reality, but It finally seemed too much effort at the time. I decided to deny my dark bliss, and slowly get up, although I was very unhappy doing so. Since I was already dressed, I sat there with my head in my palms, I watched the dawn through my fingers, very miserable, and knew If there was indeed a way out, I intended to find it, sooner or later.

I left my room, bed unmade as always, and drifted to the large bathroom, bathed my face in hot water (alone thankfully), and drifted down the square hall the longer way, and noticed everyone was gone, it was breakfast time, and meals were few, and therefore quite popular. Starving crazy boys made for regular rabid fans of meals, however pitiful said meals were. Taste doesn't really matter to the ones who are starving, only edibility.

That next morning it was powdered eggs (which were my first, never seen them before), dry toast, coffee without sugar, and half an orange. Good thing I wasn't competing in any olympic events that day hmm? I wouldn't even win a bronze medal with that sorry excuse for a breakfast,supposedly the best the State usually was willing to provide I suppose. I was learning about my new sad situation, hour by hour.

I was one of the last to eat, and they asked me to hurry, but I again refused. I took my sweet time, sipped my bitter coffee, munched my toast, choked on the dry eggs, and very defiantly peeled my pitiful half orange, staring at the female staff the whole time, which seemed to become quite uncomfortable for her I suspect.

After a few minutes of my staring, she looked away and only quickly stole glances at my progress. I made no friends among the staff that morning to be sure. At that stage of my imprisonment, literally everything I did was defiant and very deliberate.

I was determined to make my very best efforts at defying my incarceration there, whatever it took, I would bask in the dislike and hate I received. It was a very conscious decision at the time, my own way of protesting.

After breakfast, I left the cafeteria alone, except for the female staff that kept a good distance and carefully watched me during my slow exit from the area. I headed back to the dayroom, and sat and vegetated slowly. The thorazine was taking its slow time, but it was making progress I guess. I sat, feeling my mind wander. I didn't read, I just stared straight forward. The first effects were probably taking place. I had thoughts, but they seemed slower somehow, mired in molasses, and I fought through this mire.

Before I knew it, a new staff member entered the dayroom, and behind him were all the boys from the TV room, and the others ejected and dragged from their rooms. His name was Andy, he had slicked back black hair, a black mustache, wore white shorts, a very fake positive attitude, and loudly announced "hey everyone, it's rec time, outside, lets go guys!". I have to admit, as slow as I was becoming, this took me by total surprise. It was the last thing I expected, or wanted.

He used his key. The magnetic door stopped its buzzing, and the door amazingly opened, like the black gates of Mordor. He bid us all out the door, stood there egging us through., and waited til the entire ward was through till locking the door behind him.