America the Poor: A Wanderers Tale, Vol Two

CHAPTER 44: A short useless stroll through Hope

After a few minutes, A tall man in casual clothes with a red polo shirt came out, and walked straight to me. He reached out his hand to me, "John Duran, I assume?", and I said "yep, that's me, thanks', and we shook hands. then he gave a subtle nod to my escort, and we both stood,

"Im Don, follow me please, if you will", and he started walking, we followed close behind. The large desk passed on our left, and the mirrored walls were passing on our right. We entered a light colored wooden door, which opened into a beautiful roomy office. There were pictures, and certificates over the walls, and weird sculptures and small puzzles made of metal on the desk. In front of it were three chairs, and behind it was a large window, also showing a gorgeous view of a green field, this one empty, except for the blue sky above, also almost perfect. What a nice place to sit in, and get lost in the vastness and majesty of the view. "John, how are you?" He directed to me.

"I'm better now Don, a wonderful place you have here, at least that's what I see, not like where I am now".

"Yes John, I think we have something special here, but it's taken decades to make it that way, and all the boys living here are fairly mellow, we like to keep it that way. This was a vast church long ago, as you can tell, and I think some of the serenity carries over to our residents, even today. To be honest, I am pressed for time today, so I can give you a short tour, if you want before we discuss your situation and if you'd be a good fit here?"

"Yes please, I'd love to see some of it", and my escort nodded at me. Don got up, so I officially had two escorts now. Guess I was building a small army, just to see me walk around. Fun stuff.

So I didn't have the Grand tour, it wasn't even close to being thorough, but I got the gist of it. The entire facility did not share the majesty or religious tones that were exclusive to the center structure. We saw dormitories, multiple kitchens, a pool, a gym, showers, a small medical clinic, and even a chapel. Faith was promoted and encouraged there, but not required, thank God.

I saw classrooms, long hallways, and everything was clean and sparkling, even the smell was pleasant. Don mentioned they took in orphans, and boys without anywhere to really go, and sometimes they spent years here, and their classes were fully certified, so the education they received actually counted in the real world. No where did I see a quiet room, massive staff built like football players, straitjackets, or restraints of any kind, apparently they were not needed here. Medication as a treatment was completely optional here, Don said, some chose to take it, but many didn't.

I'm not sure how other boys felt, but to me it sounded like a form of heaven, against the purgatory I currently suffered in.

We didn't see all of it, but we walked through what was important, but only if I was chosen to have a future there. I wanted this more than anything I had before, besides Cee's love of course. The latter was utterly impossible forever, but the former might actually occur. as I'd find out soon. The short version of the tour led back to Don's office, and we all sat again. "John, I've fully looked at your file before you arrived, you might make a good fit, except tell me what happened recently, you had a violent episode? Share what you can, in your own words if you please?"

I got almost panicky in my initial reaction, I felt my pulse quicken, as if in fear, but I of course knew this moment was coming. I looked at my staff escort, and he merely looked back at me, no nod, no reaction, just a steady stare, as if he was getting ready for anything, watching me very closely. I did my best, honestly, but how can one describe a moment of immense violence and rage and still seem like a sane rational being I wonder? My words had a bit of eloquence, especially for being 14 years old, and my emotions were genuine, my honesty was complete. When I was done trying to explain the entire incident, as you've undoubtedly already read about in detail in the previous chapter, I finally stopped, and my body was shaking, though I tried to suppress this.

This felt like a pivotal moment in my existence. Who's to say it wasn't? Some moments define us, and our lives, and some moments become us, and who we will end up to be later in life. This was one such moment. "So, this incident, and your violent reaction was caused by a banana and a boy who accused and annoyed you John?" At hearing this, the fear and pulse both reacted within me, and with a sinking feeling, I realized it was over, no matter what I said. They had made their decision already, and this place was not part of my future, the near or the far one. It was a lost path, thanks to a banana that I never stole. I nodded in response, and Don again reached out his hand for a farewell shake. "We'll let you know what we decide in a week". I shook it, already saddened and dejected. My driver led the way out of the office and through the former cathedral.

We descended the stone steps, and went straight to the state car, and as I got in the back, I heard distant happy laughter coming from one of the grassy fields, and this laughter depressed me, since I'd never hear it again, as a joyous resident. I knew this for a fact, not a guess. This future would also never happen, my path led elsewhere, to darker places, I'd find out. We headed back, to another possibility, and the silence was almost a physical thing during that long ride. My personal future was somewhere other then this place in life.