Almost (ShortStory)

2

I remember someone asked me "What's it like to be in love?"

Part of me ached.

"It's the most wonderful and terrible thing that can ever happen" I said as I smile sadly.

We do not fall in love with someone just because they are good. We fall in love with those whose darkness we can connect with. That's the type of love I wanted: when we fall in love with someone because your monster have found a home in them. The love that was discovered in the midst of the darkness.

That kind of love will lasts.

That's what I thought.

In a big room, with a single couch near the window, a single bed where he was lying, a small cabinet in front of his bed, watching him sleeping peacefully makes me think that I don't want to be alone but in the end, I always shut away my emotions. I feel so lonely but I don't want to put up with anyone. I want to forget all about my trouble for at least one day. I try so hard but it's never enough. I should be happy but somehow, I feel like nothing matters anymore. I'm scared because what if no one makes me feel the way you did?

"Cain?" I said softly. He didn't respond. Of course, he won't cause his eyes were closed. The more I looked at him, the more I fall. This is bad, so bad that I'm drowning.

I have never been so sad about someone that I start crying just while doing some tiny thing.

"Did I wake you up?" I asked as I noticed he was looking at me. I quickly wipe the tears, hoping he didn't see it.

When I glanced at the time and realized that it was almost eight o'clock. I stood up quickly and grabbed the over-bed table and began putting out the food one by one. I tried to lower my head so he can't see my face that was red from crying.

"I brought your favorite fo—"he cut me off in the middle of what I was about to say when he pulled me closer to him. I was shocked by what happened and my body stiffened like a bamboo shoot.

"I miss you" He spoke softly, so I couldn't hear him.

"What did you say?"

"I miss you" he repeated. I can feel in his voice the tiredness. I looked at the ceiling because the tears seemed to be dripping again. I bit my lip to hold back the tears because I didn't want him to see me weak.

"Y-you should eat." I pushed him hard but he tightened his grip on me even more.

"Where's my 'I miss you too?'"

I didn't answer. I was trying my best not to talk even just one word because the tears that I had been holding back will drip again. I sat on the bed as he pulled me closer.

"Just look me in the eyes," he said from his position in front of me. "Do you miss me?"

I felt myself nod and perhaps mutter a quiet, "Yes" too. My heart drummed too loudly in my ears.

His hands landed on my shoulders with a ferocity that disarmed me. He then moved my hair to the side and ran his fingertips down to the back of my neck. "Answer me" My spine tingled with a warm shiver as I heard his husky voice.

His thumbs began caressing the line of my spine. I had to restrain myself from whimpering. "I miss you too," I said softly as I touched his face with my hands. "I miss you"

There was a silence, and Cain's finger traveled up the back of my neck, softly caressing the muscles. Another sound emerged from my throat, almost escaping my lips.

'Did I just moan?!'

But I kept my mouth shut as I heard someone unlock the door. I stood up suddenly.

"You're still here, Vee? Kayde was looking for you" Cain was just looking at my face. He tried to hide his smile when he saw my crimson face.

'Cute.' He uttered. I heard him that makes my face more reddish.

"Why?" I ask. I took the spoon and fork and gave them to Cain. I also arranged his seat before I served the food.

"Doc is going to tell you something," said the nurse.

"All right" and she closed the door. I let out a sigh of relief when the door closed. What Cain did was embarrassing!

"You're going to burst any minute now, Vee," he said jokingly. I gave him a death stare but he just laughed. I sat back down on the couch and simply watched him eat. This is the feeling I strive to avoid whenever I look at him. The feeling of emptiness in my heart. I don't understand why. I'm really scared.

Huh

I've never been so scared in my life but seeing you in that bed, it driving me crazy.

"Stop staring"

"Cain?" I say it again, this time more gently. "Are you alright?" Seeing the guy I love sitting in a hospital bed with various types of machinery attached to his body makes me want to take his place rather than see him suffer.

He blinks, surprised. "Yes, love" he responds, taking a deep breath.

I manage to crack a little smile. "I'm relieved you've finally agreed to marry me."

He frowns, puzzled, and then—-as realization dawns—-his brows rise.

For the first time in weeks, I have a full, genuine grin on my face. It's a pleasant feeling.

Cain, on the other hand, shakes his head, evidently ashamed. He is unable to look her in the eyes. When he adds, "That's not what I meant," his voice is cautious and calm.

I was a little bit disappointed, and my smile was fading. "I was only joking" as I leaned my head on the top of the couch and now I'm facing the ceiling again. I just closed my eyes as I feel the pain again. This is the pain I don't want to experience in the next life. I do not want this. I don't like what's going on in my life right now.

Life is so strange with its twists and turns. Things go wrong as they sometimes will and all I want is to smile like I used to be, but I also need to sigh and rest, I'm tired but I don't want to quit.

I fixed everything after he finished eating. He was watching every move I do. I can feel his eyes making a hole in my back. I smiled as I faced him.

"I'll be back," I said. He just nods as a sign of 'Ok'. I kiss him on the forehead before leaving.