Finding Jesus: A Testimony

V - Christianity Over Others

The transition to believing in a god didn't have difficulty. I assumed that the time invested in the discussions and literature made the idea feasible, even so much as resulting in me moving away from deism (only lasting maybe a week or two) rapidly. I couldn't quite accept the idea of an impersonal creator, one that would not especially help in their creations navigating life, and in a moral way. I'm sure I could give my own spiritual thoughts a lot more investment — maybe in independent articles to this book — but I considered putting them in my primary work oriented at defending the Christian faith. I suppose I will meet a conclusion later on down the line. I primarily want these chapters to be short, giving a generalised look at my thought process and each milestone afterwards.

There are many religions in the world, so many that I'd likely never be able to study them enough to reject each of them singularly. There's similar and varied myths, gods and ideas that diverge in regions, evolving over centuries. We can often see this in religions with larger pantheons. Some gods would absorb, in a sense, another god; sometimes their genders changed; sometimes their personalities did as well. The way they are worshiped changed. We can see this in the emergence of modern pagans that, in many circles, have sought to syncretise the gods across pantheons (though this was done with the Romans and even in some areas with Isis of the Egyptians, this was not wholesale; most of these linked pantheons were essentially the same one in surrounding areas even if names and occasional affiliations differed, e.g. Celtic pantheons).

It also happens to be for this reason that I could not find pagan religions viable. As modern pagans seem to, the gods become in the image of the person worshiping. The myths themselves were incoherent and the gods became pacified. Modern worshipers sometimes claim to interact with these gods directly, uniting in shared followers with gods they wouldn't have in classical periods. Perhaps relations changed and the records were never jotted down as in periods of old; this is unreliable and unlikely for me to immerse myself within. If I am to religiously affiliate, I would devote my entire being into it.

There is no point in really being religious if you only participate as much as you want instead of as much as you need to. Relationships are important and require care, not a single text message in a week (metaphorically speaking; how can you say you have a close relationship if you barely interact with them?). If it is about the very health of my soul, the very state of it, I can't afford to not be healed by the god (i.e., God) that made me.

This tended to narrow down quite a bit, especially in referencing ethical matters, to the Abrahamic triad. After reading thousands of hadith, tafsirs, and the Qu'ran, I could not devote myself to it. First in that it misunderstands Christian doctrine thus voiding itself from an all-knowing God; second in that it offered as truth many matters that did not make sense. Such as a stone taking off with Moses' clothes because the other Israelites thought he had a scrotal hernia (he would eventually beat the rock seven times, if you are interested). (Bukhari 278)

Women would be obligated to follow a formal mourning period of four months where they could not remarry, but men could. (Bukhari 313) They were described as deficient in intelligence because she could not give an equal testimony to a man (it takes two women for one man). (Bukhari 304) And the only lives considered sacred are Muslims. (Bukhari 392) Equal punishments would not even be distributed as a result of this. If a man killed a Muslim, he'd receive the death penalty, but this was not so if it was a Muslim killing a disbeliever. (Bukhari 111)

There is much more that could be said, even in the articles as overviewed by sheikhs, but this is not the book for it. In short, I found it unreliable. This would leave me between Judaism and Christianity.

Judaism isn't the easiest study either since it would require the recognition of 613 commandments and the ways in which I would implement it in my life. It is enough generally to be a Noahide following the simpler commandments, but more complete conversion into Judaism is possible. If I would convert, I'd feel convicted in doing so. I didn't find Kabbalah to be something to include given the much later emergence of it. So before going into a larger study that would only, more primarily affect me after conversion, I studied the arguments of the Christians (through the New Testament, into early Christian literature I was already familiar with, and modern apologetics). In doing so, I'd see the reasoning, the argument, and the prophecies as understood, and eventually find Christianity to be the religion established by God.

** Should I decide to make the independent arguments in this book instead of the other one, they'll be articles that immediately follow this one, and go into the detail that is needed to be effective in presentation.