Madame Williams ( teacherxstudent )

73

DIANE'S POV:

I closed the front door behind me and got off my coat. I felt nauseous. I felt weak and pathetic. I felt like a jackass.

I had all the warning signs showing up in front of me, and I was a fool not to pay attention to them. I had just lost Laura, the one person that made me happy.

I called Sarah, she missed my call. I called again, hoping she would reply this time, she didn't. Straight to voice mail.

"Hey, It's me, uh... I've had the shittiest day. Lou and I broke things up, well, Lou did, I just sat there and accepted the consequences." I said, before I started crying, "I don't know what I just did. I have no idea... I can't believe I threw away what I had with her. Please call me."

I ended the call and went into my bedroom.

I couldn't shake off the thought that I could have done so much better, I could have tried to ask for help earlier, maybe now things would be so much better, maybe I would have been able to save my relationship.

I took a deep breath.

I felt horrible. I felt like a huge wave of crap was hitting me so hard I couldn't think straight.

I wasn't just 'Diane' anymore, I was a sad barren woman, traumatized and depressed.

Amazing.

What a catch, huh?

Soon Sarah called me back, and I begged her to come see me in between tears. I felt like a fool, I felt my world tumbling down and it was all my fault.

*

"D, try some deep breaths please." Sarah said, holding both my hands, trying to calm me down.

I kept uncontrollably sobbing.

"Inhale."

I tried to inhale the best I could.

"Exhale."

And I tried that as well.

"Good." Sarah ran a hand through my hair, so she could look in my eyes properly. "Can we try that again?"

I nodded my head and tried to follow her breaths.

When I was calmer she went to the kitchen to get me a glass of water, and then she made me drink it.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She asked.

I bit my lip. "How can you still be my friend? After we broke things off, after I treated you like shit, and now that you're seeing me loose my marbles... you're still here."

"That's because you're my best friend. And you need to heal from all that you've been through." Sarah said.

I shut my eyes.

"I'm certain Lou loves you, and that it must have been the hardest thing to say goodbye to you." Sarah said, "I'm also positive that you can work on yourself and get on your feet again."

"You make it sound so simple." I scoffed.

Sarah squeezed my hands, "It can be if you take it one day at a time. We'll find you a therapist... someone that doesn't know you, someone that your mother did not recommend... someone new. And I'll take you to your appointments, and you'll go to work and try your best. And i'll be there for you."

"Again, you're making that sound so simple." I sniffed.

Sarah hugged me, "Things will get better."

I shook my head, "I'm afraid I might have lost everything."

"You've still got me, and yourself... you just need to work on yourself. Focus on you and only you."

"She looked devastated, she looked so hurt and almost... disgusted at me." I cried.

Sarah kissed the top of my head, "I'll help you get through this just like last time."

"I feel like such a bad person."

"You're not a bad person. Dee, you're a very good person, you just have to work on yourself like I said. You'll get through this. You've always been so strong, don't give up on yourself."