my world

part 7

*Gabriel's pov*

I slowly removed the fabric coverong her while she buried her face into my shoulder, crying.

I slowly began to get her seated in the right position again with her legs on the bed and head on the pillow but she kept trying to get up so she can hug me.

"Love you've got to stay laying down" I whispered in the most soothing tone I could. The doctors were clearly getting annoyed that they couldn't help her without her moving.

"Sir would you like to sit next to her on the bed so you can comfort her?" One of the doctors suggested. I sat down next to my girl and stroked her hair as she desperately tried not to break down again.

"Okay Mis-Mrs Armani we will have to perform a procedure called dilation and curettage, which involves widening your cervix and scraping the uterine lining, or endometrium." The head doctor announced.

I could see the panic on Victoria's face. My poor girl. I felt so bad knowing I didn't get there in time. If I had got their quicker. Maybe. Just maybe. We would still have our baby.

"Wait- aren't you supposed to do a ultra sound first?" I snarled. The doctor looked down sheepishly. "Well yes but I figured it's pretty clear that she lost the- your fired get out." I interrupted him.

Dumb fucker. Trying to cut corners.

Another doctor put some gel on her stomach and began the ultra sound. She suddenly pulled the screen closer and squinted her eyes. What was going on?

She raised one finger to the screen, "that is where your baby was.. and up there" She raised her finger 4 inches higher, "is their twin. You were pregnant with Twins miss. You unfortunately lost one." She immediately began sobbing again. Wether it was joy or sadness I'll never know.

Victoria looked at me. Even I was tearing up. I reached for her hand and and interlocked my fingers with hers. Just appreciating the moment.

I leant down and pressed my lips against her forehead.

________________

We arrived home an hour later. She was still bleeding and had no clothes still. I took the girl straight up to our ensuite and told her to sit on the toilet while I ran her a bath.

Her stomach kept cramping up, she would groan and cry everytime, I wish I could make it stop..

I turned off the taps and helped her into the bath tub. I sat next to her just talking. Taking her mind off what happened. She was struggling to move as she tried to wash her body. "Want me to help?" My wife nodded her head.

I took off my shirt so I wouldn't get it wet and reached for the sponge she was using. "Tell me if there's any areas you don't want me to touch, okay?"

I began washing the insides of her thighs, but she quickly grabbed my wrist. I kept go of the sponge and moved my hand away immediately. "I'm so sorry!" I apologised frantically.

"Its fine! I didn't say anything how were you supposed to know!" She gave me a sweet smile. That smile.. I can never get enough of it. A smile grew on my face as I admired her.

She giggled at me and reached fie the sponge herself. Watching her attempt to wash herself was painful almost. 

*Victorias pov*

An hour later I was out of the bath and fully dressed. I wanted to make sure that Lorenzo was okay. I was just praying he would be in his room.

I opened the door even so slightly and saw him asleep in his bed.
He must've fell asleep before he expected to because he wasn't even under the covers. I walked in and placed the covers over him. He began sturring before opening his eyes.

"Your back!" He exclaimed before sitting up and hugging me. "Hey, your brither told ne what you done.. it was very brave.. but you shouldn't of done it.. you got hurt." I began explaining.

He rolled his eyes before speaking up, "Well I wanted to. Thats my choice to make." I chuckled and shook my head.

"When your older, yes. But your still a kid. So it's Mine and your brothers choice. I do have some bad news and good news." I sat down in his bed and took a deep breath, "sadly I did have a miscariage.. but it was twins. Only 1 died.." I tried to smile through the pain knowing I Could've had 2 baby's.

He immediately hugged me. We continued talking for another hour before he fell asleep again.

_____________

A week had passed. Because of Gabriel and I grieving our baby we both were arguing because neither of us knew how to control our emotions.

That's what we we're doing right now, arguing. Over a cup not having been washed up. But it was so far into the argument that he began throwing words he didn't mean at me.

"WELL SORRY IM NOT PERFECT!!!!" I screamed back at my husband as he continued to yell at me.

"YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! YOUR NOT PERFECT! DO YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW THAT?!- HOW?! PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME WITH HOW YOU KNOW!" I interrupted him. I hated arguing with him. He'd get so furious. It was scary.

"BECAUSE.." his voice cracked as if he was on the verge of tears, "IF YOU WERE PERFECT YOU WOULD'VE TRIED HARDER TO ECSCAPE FROM THE GERMANS SO I WOULDN'T BE HERE ALONE THINKING NY WIFE WAS DEAD OH AND WOULDN'T OF GONE WITH THE PORTUGUESE AND HAD OUR BABY KILLED!" He screamed back at me as tears started pouring down bith of our faces.

"You have no right to bring up what happened with the German's." I choked as I sat down on the sofa and held my head in my hands as I sobbed.

"And I was just trying to protect your brother from getting hurt.. he tried to shoot the man. I had to react quick because of blood for blood. If I left with them he couldn't kill them therefore couldn't get killed himself." I wept. However Gabriel still thought he was right. And he was allowed to talk about this shit.

"THANKYOU AND I UNDERSTAND THAT! BUT I STILL HAVE THE RIGHTS TO TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE GERMANS. DO YOU KNOW THE AMOUNT OF SURVIVORS GUILT I GOT FROM THAT?! OR JUST GUILT FROM NOT BEING ABLE TO PROTECT!!! YOU?!" He fell to his knee's sobbing.

"I COULDN'T EVEN FUCKING TAKE THE BOYS TO BED O-OR MAKE THEM BREAKFAST BECAUSE I COULDN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU AND I'D BREAK DOWN SOBBING! RUBY AND MATEO HAD TO DO IT WHIKE THEY WERE ALSO IN GRIEF! THEN WHILE I WAS STILL GRIEVING I HAD TO REMARRY TO STOP AN ATTACK!" He screamed.

Was he really acting like he was more of a victim then me? We were both victims but he was making it sound like his experience was hundreds times worse then mine. Being raped, abused, starved for 5 years. I still can't close my eyes without getting flashbacks.

I turned on my heel and left trying to hold back my tears. I couldn't fucking do this.