It's hard...it's hard TO BE IDOL

5. Forgive me

*Yaaa, wake up!* , *ahh, another 5 minutes* , *no , wake up! , last time you hit my because I didn't wake you up* , *Hhmmm ok*, I just came back to see Jungkook's face, I kissed he and took he in my arms , *I love you Jungkook , please don't leave me!*.

*Anne , wake up! yahh wake up , you are okay?* , *Hmm?* , *you cry in your sleep, did you dream something bad?* , *I have a dream with Jungkook* I started to cry then he took me in his arms and hugged me to his chest *W-why he diid t-his to my? I l-love him with al-ll my heart , I would have done any-ything for him, he said h-he love me , but he bre-break my heart , I fucking h-hate him but I can't live without him* , *ssshhhhh, I'm here, you can cry as much as you want, I'm here and I'll always be, I won't leave you and I will never hurt you*.

After I finished my crying round I went to eat *Felix, you can come home with me to Jungkook, today he has rehearsals with the band and I would like to go and get my luggage and then go and buy a house?* , *of corse* , *tank you*.

I got home to Jungkook, I have his keys so I can get in, I take a deep breath before stepping forward, and I wait for the badgers to check on me.
I get in the elevator and wait for it to go up, I get up and I try to hold on tight , but I feel like I'm going to start crying around here, luckily Felix came with me, he said he'll stay out, he said if something happens I'll call him and if I don't show a sign of life as soon as possible he will come to check on.
I'm lucky to have a friend like him, at least I still have him and I know I'll never betray.
Everything in the house seemed clean, as I left it, it wasn't even made for food, but who knows, maybe now he stays with his girlfriend, maybe he didn't even come home.

After packing everything I had in the house and putting it in my luggage, I got on the elevator.

When the doors open a sign that I have reached the ground floor I see the last person I wanted to see , it was him, it was him and he was standing directly in front of me, he was looking into my eyes and he wasn't saying anything , I stood in front of him in the stone sheepfold, but as I realized what I was doing, I tried to step aside but he grabbed my wrist and made me look at him *Let me go!* , *where?* , *it's not your business* , * of corse is it , I'm your boyfriend?* , *huh? You are stupid?* , *We need to talk* , *I don't want to talk to you , okay? , now let my go* , The next second I see Jungkook on the floor, huh? Felix was angrier than a bull next to me *she said let her go, don't you understand, are you deaf?* Jungkook didn't know what hit him , *huh who are you?* , *I m her best friend* , *she don't have a best friend* , *of corse I have if you cared you would have known , but you never cared, just leave me alone, let's go Felix* , huh Felix , *he's in a group with you , you are mad at me but you are also the one who spends time with someone else* , *he is my friend, i don't fuck with him like you do, i don't cheat on you with someone else , he was by my side when I needed someone, when you didn't have time for me* , *and now your going to stay with him right? You leave me and go to him* , *no, it just helped me get here to get my luggage, I move Jungkook, I move alone and I think the car is mine, you should give me the keys*.

Jungkook pov.

I gave her the car keys and went into the elevator , I was nervous, I punched the door of nerves and I felt so much pain.

Of course she leaves me, of course she's going to stay with that one, I started crying, it's all my fault, it's my fault she's going to another one now, Jungkook you're so stupid, you lost her

and now you can't do anything, even if I wanted to, I couldn't say goodbye to her, tell her how much I love her , I will leave for Los Angeles in 2 days, I will be gone for a long time.

I entered the house and went straight to the bedroom to smell her, the bed smelled of her perfume, I can't express in words how good she smells, I already miss her, but I made a mistake and I have to assume.
Standing and smelling her perfume I didn't even realize how I fell asleep, I was exhausted, I haven't slept since she left.

I woke up in the morning, I expected to feel her wrapped around me like a koala bear but she was no more.

I was looking out the window and I was thinking how I could sleep so much, without any baggage I get out of bed, I hear my stomach begging for food but I have no desire for anything.
I went downstairs just to have a glass of water, I thought what could I do and I said I would go to Felix's house today to say goodbye to her and apologize for everything. I know he won't forgive me, but it's worth a try.