Crimson Tears: Letting Go At Midnight (Book 1)

Chapter I: Fearful Truth

As if nothing new could happen to me in the worst possible time, I hear that my dad was hospitalized due to a mugging. Honestly, I'm not too surprised it happened. It's more surprising that it took so long. I had often wondered how much money he had been borrowing from people. My feelings towards my parents still stand as they are.

"Jerick, are you even listening?" asks Professor Parker.

"Sorry sir, I didn't mean to. It won't happen again," I say sheepishly.

"Now as I was saying, midterms are right around the corner, and most of you haven't submitted your entries."

"Sir, does that include our final essay as well?" interjects a random person.

"No, it does not include the final copy of the essay. However, you may include it if you wish," replies the professor. "All right class, I'll see you tomorrow. Make sure to submit those entries by then."

***

"Jerick, you know the professor doesn't like you daydreaming in class. What's up with you?" asks Aerina.

"I know. I've had a lot on my mind since I heard the news," I respond coldly.

"If you're that concerned, then why don't you just go and see him?" asks Aerina hopefully.

I yell, "I understand he's my dad and all, but he brought that on himself, so why should I care?!"

"You know I'm only doing all of this because I care. There's no need for you to be so cruel!" laments Aerina as she runs out of the room.

"Aerina! Wait! I didn't mean...!"

"You've got a knack for making that girl cry, don't you, Jerick?" judges Nora.

***

"It's not like I try. We've been friends since we were kids, and to top it off, we live together," I remark nonchalantly.

"W... Wa... Wait, you two live together?" sputters Nora, choking on her drink.

"Didn't she tell you?," I ask, perplexed.

"She did, but I thought she was only kidding!" answers Nora, clearing her throat.

"Seriously?," I question, cracking a smile.

"Yeah. Anyways, shouldn't you go apologize to her before things get too hectic?"

"You're right. I'll let you know how things go later on, okay?" I say.

"You better, or I'll never forgive you." Nora frowns.

***

"Jerick, you know you shouldn't be running in the hallways. Plus, why are you in such a hurry?" asks Ms. Eiko.

"Umm... It's kinda hard to explain...!" I say hurriedly.

"You upset her again didn't you?" asks Ms. Eiko.

"Sorta. Can we talk later?" I try to evade her question.

"Just make sure you make up before you two get home, you hear me?" says Ms. Eiko curtly.

"..." I am mentally trying to disappear.

"I take your silence as a yes then? Just so you know, she was heading towards the auditorium."

"Why do you have to make that face every time Aerina and I fight, Eiko?!"

***

I had always wondered if Aerina knew how I felt about her mom. The questions that always ran through my head made it hard to sleep at night. During homeroom, it was even harder to focus, Eiko being my homeroom teacher. It was bad enough trying to keep the thoughts and emotions in check at school; it was even harder when I got home. Was she aware of how I felt? Did she feel the same way? Or were my feelings unrequited?

I didn't have those answers, and even if I did what would I do? Would I risk my friendship with Aerina by acting on my feelings towards her mom, or even worse: by dating her just to hide behind a façade I knew wasn't real. Why couldn't I be like a normal person and find love in a way that wasn't morally wrong? What's wrong with me?

"Cold rivers ran through these naked forests for hundreds of years, undisturbed and thought to be uninhabited..."

***

"When it rained, howling could be heard from the furthest mountains." I continue.

"These once-thought empty forests were inhabited by a pack of wolves," Aerina recites proudly.

"The wolves lived happily and undisturbed. Over the years their numbers grew and spread, but the pack always kept away from populated areas, fearing the loss of one of their kinsman." I draw the story to a close.

"So, you do remember the lines," Aerina says, tears in her eyes.

"How could I not, we both practiced for the audition to get into this college, remember?" I ask, smirking.

"Well, you do have a way of making up to me," Aerina returns timidly."Let's go, we have Composition next." She seems eager to get to class.

"Isn't Eiko subbing in for the professor again today?' I ask timidly.

"Yeah, she is. Why do you ask?" she asks questioningly.

"No reason at all," I reply anxiously.

"I've been meaning to ask for quite some time, but I've been hoping your answer is different: are you in love with my mom?" Aerina bluntly inquires.

"What do you mean, "am I in love with your mom?" I ask.

"Jerick, answer the question." "Are you in love with my Mom?" she persists.

I choke as I ask "If I answered I was, what would you do?"

"Does my mom know you have romantic feelings towards her?"

"I don't know if she's aware or not. I never told her let alone acted on these emotions...!" I say reluctantly.

Aerina asks teary-eyed, "So was it to spare me... my feelings for you? Or were you too much of a coward to face this through?"

"How can I...?!" I start to say.

"Tell my mom I won't be coming home tonight, and if you so much as say a word of this to her I'll never forgive you!"

I stand on the stage in the auditorium for a long time. Everything seems to fade into a dull grey and all the noise around me seems to be miles away. Some of the questions I had have now come to light, and one major one still lingers. Is telling Eiko the right thing to do? I blindly walk to class with my head and thoughts in a daze. When I try to make sense of what I'm feeling or not feeling, it makes things spin even more.

I walk through the door just as the final bell rings and trip over one of the chairs. Due to the way the desks are set up I end up breaking my wrist. *** It would have been worse if I had just let myself fall. Somehow or another I could feel the weight of someone catching my misplaced fall not early enough. I can't make out the silhouette, but I can tell it was a woman that caught me. I wonder who it could have been?