Peter Pan: Back to Never-land (A queer re imagining)

Ace:

Stringing thoughts together in this state is hard. But Peter's faux fire is helping somewhat. Curly and a few of the other boys come in and check on me from time to time. Curly tells me that it's good I can even feel the heat.

"But here I am, putting Peter in danger... again." I sniffle and Curly moves fast as a shakily sit up. He rubs circles into my back as he says.

"It wasn't your fault then, and it isn't your fault now. It's Hook's, it's always been his fault." Curly tries not to let the anger get to him. "It was him that kidnapped you and of course Peter was going to risk getting banished to save you. He loved you. And that's Peter." I try not to wince at the past tense of loved.. but I have to be realistic it's been years and Peter has even met someone else who he brought to Never-land. Maybe I have to move on too. Curly picks up on my wince of course. And I only wince a gain when he runs his fingers over the scar on my wrist.

"He might still love you, we don't know that. But Ace, if he doesn't you can't hurt yourself again, you can't let him have that power over you, not again! Not when you were doing so well looking after yourself and the boys, before of course Hook stole the crown but Ace, you have so much to be proud of that's just about you." Curly says sternly but there's also a kindness there as he points to me. I smile through a set of tears that were unrelenting.
"Thanks Curly." I say.
Curly shrugs in his Curly way, trying to brush off his emotions like they never happened but his smile remains.
"If I'm honest, He'd be crazy not love you though." He says quietly and ruffles my hair.
I try not to hold out hope but Curly is right, we don't really know.. do we?

FLASHBACK:
"Ace, sweetheart, it's okay you really didn't have to do that." Peter says putting his arms around my waist in a rare moment alone in the kitchen. My cheeks flush at his use of the word.
"You really think I wouldn't have? You were exhausted Peter, from looking after the little ones all day. Of course I was going to cook up a damn storm for Curly's birthday. He thought we'd forgotten."
Peter spins me around to face him.
"It's not just today Ace, it's who you are. You just keep doing these incredible things for me and all of us with no regard for yourself. It's amazing Ace. But I'm scared one day it's going to get you hurt. And I'd never forgive myself for that." I watch as his smile fades into a concerned frown.
"Hey, I'm careful, I'm always careful." I say taking his face in my hands. He covers my hands with his.
"I know. I know, I just love you too damn much to let anything happen to you." He says.
I stare at him wide eyed. His light brown caramel coloured eyes match mine but then he laughs. "Well I do." He sighs.
"I love you too, Peter." I say breathlessly. And then he kisses me.

Our first I love you's. This also reminds me that it wasn't all him sacrificing for me or even all me sacrificing for him, it was always an even balance. And there was more to our worlds than the each other. We had our own lives among the other boys, friendships and ridiculous things we used to get up to pranking each other. We also had new lost boys coming in every month or so and we never hesitated to jump in and basically raise these boys, some as young as 1 or 2 years old. We also hunted and gathered all our own food to survive and keep Never-land, our oasis, going so every lost boy who found themselves here would feel safe knowing they had it better than where ever they had come from and that they were safe to be exactly who they were.
So before you start thinking I was this love sick pup that followed Peter Pan around.. I'm here to tell you that that's not true! I may have loved Peter more than I ever thought it was possible to love another human, but my life here is and was so much more than him.
I forgot that after he got banished and I went to a dark place. I didn't think I was strong enough to lose him, and for a while I wasn't. I nearly died a number of times. But the lost boys, they were there every single time and they helped me through everything and kept me alive long enough that I found my way back to my old self. You know until Hook decided to steal Peter's crown and I again risked my life for a boy that I still love, despite everything.
But maybe that's just part of who I am? I don't know, but if Peter comes back and I survive this, atleast I know that I can live on without him loving me back or disappearing again.