Peter Pan: Back to Never-land (A queer re imagining)

Peter:

I wake to Miles shaking my shoulders. Beside me Addy is crying and I know why.
Miles tries to ask what's wrong but I know I'm the only one Addy will let handle this. So we shoo away a confused Miles. And I get   a very emotional Addy into some dry clothes.
"I'm sorry Peter." He keeps saying.
"Addy, sweetie, you are five years old. This happens to kids your age who haven't been through what you have." I tell him. He seems okay after that, well as okay as Addy can be.

Miles comes to my side while Addy is distracted by Artemis who is making a fairy dust trail for him.

"Are you alright?" He asks, his brown eyes full of concern as he puts his arm around my shoulders. Three words that will shake any hope I have of lying.
"It's all just really overwhelming." My voice shakes as I try to steady it.
"I know," he says giving my shoulder a squeeze. "But you are Peter Pan, I remember how you would keep going and work things out. You're more capable than you remember." He says. Miles is more confident here, and less scared. It makes me smile that is what Never-land is really about. I wipe at my eyes so tears don't escape them.
"Thanks Miles, you're right. We all are here in Never-land."
Miles gives me a genuine smile and I start to feel better. "I like who you are here, confidence looks good on you Miles." I tell him. He blushes.
"I.. wow.. thanks Peter." He says grinning from ear to ear.
Artemis and Addy rejoin us at that point. And we huddle together all but Patrick who still won't meet my eye.
"You might want to fix that." Artemis says as he drops onto Miles' shoulder. I nod.
I still don't know what to say to Patrick to make this better. I fill my head with all the moments we shared, me nursing him back to health and some stolen kisses we shared. I really like him but I don't want to lead him on either. Ace springs into my mind when I think about the stolen kisses with Patrick, like a knot in my stomach, like I betrayed him or something. My head swims with memories like a montage of Ace. His soft red hair and freckled face. I can't catch the specifics but there's moments where I am holding Ace in my arms and he's crying, there a moments when he's holding me in his arms, there are moments where we are splashing in the river and laughing, there are moments where we are fighting Hook beside each other, then moments when we are fighting and then there's waking up beside him in a golden hue, his head on my chest and my fingers in his soft red hair.
I jolt back at the memories and a few tears escape my eyes.
"I think... I still love Ace." I say just loud enough for Artemis and Miles to hear. They both stare at me wide eyed.
"H-how do you know?" Miles says breaking a stunned silence.
At some point Addy has gone to Patrick, maybe at my little revelation.
"When I thought about my time with Patrick, I felt like I'd betrayed Ace, like I'd cheated on him or something and then I was flooded with this montage of moments with him and it made my heart all.." my words trail off. But I don't need to finish because they get it. Tears stream down my face and stop trying to swat at them.
"I'm a monster, I brought Patrick here, I taught him that it was okay to be who he was and now I'm abandoning him.."
I start but Artemis cuts me off.
"Hug him!" He says to Miles, who immediately hugs me.
"You are no monster Peter, we can't help who we love or who we are drawn to. All you have to do is make things as right as you can with Patrick." He says and he traces circles on my back.
"And at the very least you know how you feel now." He adds. I nod into his shoulder.

"Is he okay?" Patrick whispers.
Miles doesn't say anything, he sort of just hands me to Patrick, I pull back a bit though.
"Are you alright?" He asks me.
Off with the bandaid Peter!
"I.. I still love Ace." I blurt. His face drops.
"Oh." He says looking down at his feet.
"I'm so sorry Patrick, I'm a monster. I brought you here, I told you that it's okay to be you then abandoned you with that." I sob. Patrick looks up at me with his big green eyes that are filled with tears. I feel awful. I am the worst. But then...
"You are no monster. And you're not abandoning me with anything, we are still friends right?"
I let out a breath I didn't know id been holding.
"Of course." I say.
"Then you are not abandoning me." He says with a bit of a forced smile.
"I would never." I tell him. "But I've hurt you, I'll give you some space." I say pulling myself gently from his grasp. He frowns.
"You can't very well give me space while we have to fight Hook together." He says wiping his eyes and chuckling despite himself.
"You're right, but when we get back then?"
"Okay."