◕23★ Selfish(less)

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Song recommend:- OK by Alan Walker, JOP.

[It's so uncomfortable at times
Finding it so hard to say I'm broken (again)
The things we never talk about
When I told you it was fine
It was just another lie
Just like boys don't cry

Lost in the threads of a little spiderwebs
Got me hiding in a corner
Trying not to call it
This is how the heart breaks
Just like you said,
A fairy tale from hell

Thanks to everything you told me, Even though I'm lonely...
Imma be OK]

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*


A slick serenity encircled around the two Axars as they waited for Taehyung. Teasing died down when Jimin kept a straight face, a dreadful one.

Only if the silence could speak words through the mind which the throat dared not to.

Until one of them decides to break through it with coherent sentence, "Jimin, what are you expecting to do now?" It was Namjoon, concern caking his voice.

"Don't. Don't use that word. I stopped expecting the time I reached this place," Jimin looked up in the day sky and blinked away the tears forming at the corner of his eyes.

At least the warm sunlight falling on his face felt like something he didn't expect before.

"Expecting is not bad Jimin, but expecting something from someone else is, because it's not in your hands."

"Expect things from your own self, that's what you control the most and even if does not go your way, you'll still feel satisfied that you tried your best. You can't guarantee it for someone else, right?" Namjoon let the words smoothly roll out of his tongue, in the most calming way possible.

Jimin didn't budge from his position, he did not let Namjoon see how much he was hurting with every word he said.

After Namjoon finished his little speech, Jimin closed his eyes and motionlessly faced the sky, he let the words sink in deep in his skin and he finally spoke, "I don't have things to expect from myself, I perfected myself, did everything I could do, and I still don't find myself satisfied or happy,"

"You kept perfecting yourself for someone else just in search of happiness, had you done it for yourself, you would've found it by now." Namjoon uttered, keeping his grim expressions, but they immediately change into a frown the minute Jimin snaped his neck in his direction, with hurt evident in his eyes.

He changed his tone and tried to approach him more thoughtfully, "It's okay to be selfish sometimes Jimin. It's necessary."

Jimin scoffed and his choice of words, "I am literally the biggest selfish person to ever exist. Who do you think I am finding my mate for? It's me. Why are you here breaking all the rules instead of following the law and order? Because of my stupid decisions."

"Jungkook, Yoongi hyung and Hobi are in danger, reason? They risked themselves for the visions, which I doubt are even real at this point. It's me, me- every time. I am doing it all for myself, can't you see?" Jimin vented out his frustration that was chocking him all the time.

It vexed him that Namjoon was encouraging him for something he was doing all the time, he was hurting along with the ones he loved and according to him that was selfish enough.

"You think you're selfish? Fine. But the Park Jimin I know puts his mother's last name to remind Axars of the late queen and for the sake of her memory which was asked to be forgotten, despite being urged by the officials to change it to Jeon."

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