| As the Hours Pass | (mxmxm)

chapter four

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|✷𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩✷|

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The blonde haired male stared out the window off to the side of the room.

"Karsin?"

He let a light sigh go, only to look over at meet the female's eyes. He watched her, letting her know she could continue what she needed to say.

"Where did your head go just now?"

Karsin shifted, rested back uncomfortably in the arm chair. Being pulled on the spit he felt his breathing hitch and did his best not to resort to scratching his arm, let alone look down at the scratched raw skin.

"Somewhere that isn't here..." he responded vaguely.

She softly frowned, "Still no sign huh?"

He grunted, "Sign of what?" He gritted his teeth.

"Or of who?" He huffed.

The call time bell rang, causing the male to quickly stand.

"Same time in a few days?" He smiled fakly, "Great."

He stepped out of the newly unlocked room and ran into the male nurse who walked him back to his cell block.

"Mmf, hi again," he looked up at him, narrowing his eyes.

"This way," he spoke, grabbing his arm to guide him down the hall.

The smaller male sunk into the nurse's clutch, wanting nothing more than to be out of that damned place.

He figured he was being whisked back to his room to be trapped in there again, only for them to turn and him be led to the activity hall. He went to yank away, only for the nurse to tighten his grip on his arm.

It made him whimper and calm down, for his wrists were still raw from the last time he had a small breakdown.

"Do I have to? I'm tired..." he looked up at the male, who just grunted and shoved him in the room.

"Yes and I don't care."

The blonde male stood before the door frame, the heavy metal door closing in his face.

The sound of snack packaging opening and water bottles crinkling, Karsin gritted his teeth and slowly turned. One of the on sight counselors were speaking to a group of the ward patients, the chairs all displayed in a semi circle before him.

Some other patients were off to the side, coloring or reading.

Karsin ran his hands down his face and took abseat off to the side, slouching down and resting back. Letting his mind drift off to somewhere else again.

|°•°•°|

A two story home seated right across from a wide range field. The home was probably an off white.

The front door was hardly used, for the family only went in from the side. Walking in through the den, the sound of heavy weighted feet trudging against the hard wood.

Distinctly remembering the woman with the grey hair who always complained about how heavy footed he was. How there was a large wide spread stationary television that had to have been built in the prehistoric times.

A large, grand black organ that the lady of the house forbid him to touch. Though each time she drove up the street to the convenient store, he scampered across the hard wood and played around with the mono toned keys.

Having a dream of being a talented pianist, taking lessons and getting good at playing.

A dining room that had a China cabinet he wasn't allowed to go near. A narrow hallway hat led under the grand staircase, an extra bathroom and scary door that led to the dark basement.

Three main rooms in the home, the lady's room, his room, and her son's room.

He remembered always terrified to go in the male's room because the hard wood was so squeaky clean. Scared that he'd fall stepping foot in there.

One night he could recall, the older woman had somewhere to go so she asked her son to watch the wide eyed and curious child.

The tall teenager invited him into his room, there was a mattress on the floor and a television situated before it.

They spent the evening eating popcorn, he was so nervous for he had never been around the male for too long especially alone with him. A movie was on, one that ended up being his favorite for many years to come.

One scene in particular, a couple sitting in a car making out. He couldn't understand why seeing the two interacted made his body feel funny from below.

That was the past, no longer the lady who owned the home she lived there.

Her son who always wore the faded camo hat, he got a job and moved in with his girlfriend. Who just turned into a new flavor of the month. From Courtney, to Jessica, to a girl named Casey with glasses who was his favorite by far.

She gave him a card when he wasn't feeling well, doting her i's with hearts and stars. For that card taught him how to draw stars without them looking so crooked.

Though the house went up on the market, with the grand organ and all the memories.

Only for years later when he asked about it, a dream he had to one day live in that house.

Only for an old man to say the place was dry rotted and ruined.

Killing dreams before they even had a chance to take wind.

Karsin's eyes adjusted on the busted clock, suddenly becoming aware of all the sounds again.

He leaned over, cradling his head in his hands with a couple labored breaths.

Maybe if his grand ideas weren't ruined at such a young age he wouldn't be so fucked up as people said. He wouldn't want to slice his skin open at the sights of something sharp. To throw his head against the wall, wishing the oxygen would completely leave his head.

That he wouldn't feel so alone in a room filled with people who didn't really help.

Karsin wouldn't have to jump at the sound of the annoying call bell that sounded like it belonged to a nuclear war threat, a horrid sound that made him shudder.

He wouldn't feel the need to dart at the nurse's I'm a fit of rage to get out.

Most of all he wouldn't have the neverending yearn to stop breathing.