arson is my middle name | m. afton

three

dead stuck in this town
always lost when i'm found
in and out of space
in and out of phase
feeling deep in the heart
it feels like tearing apart
think i'll slowly fade away

Foresight
The Room Is Filled With People That Love You

•••••

  I managed to make it home despite driving the whole half-hour commute with watery vision.

  I thanked my past self for refusing to tell anybody about the interview, because taking calls from curious people asking me how it went was the absolute last thing I wanted. I don't think I could've disguised the sob-fest I had on the side of the road that left me sounding like I'd shoved a cheese grater down my throat. 

  Visiting the pizzaplex was a terrible idea. I knew this and I still went, so I suppose I could just call this emotional agony karma. It sucked. 

  When I got home and saw my asshole of a cat, Mike, I burst into another round of crying because why the fuck would I name my asshole cat after Michael?

  And because every Michael is a dick to me, my cat simply glared at me with his asshole eyes before leaving the room, deciding that my harrowing sorrow was too loud for him.

  With the rest of the 'sick day' mine for the taking, I made a pitiful microwave lunch and hooked up my phone's netflix to the TV. While cringing through questionable TV-dinner chicken, I kicked myself for not grabbing something from the Pizzaplex's food court before leaving.

  I could've ordered a burrito through tears. It would've turned some heads, but I could've.

  "Jesus Christ," I muttered to myself as I blankly stared at the screen. I expected for some long, forcefully forgotten memories to re-emerge and cause turmoil, but I hadn't expected to get hit with them like a fucking train.

  I deserved it, though. This was what I got for pushing boundaries that I knew I hadn't recovered from yet. This was what I got for having little to no self-control. My therapist would be so disappointed in me. God, Matt would be so disappointed in me. I couldn't believe I lied to him.

  That night, I didn't sleep a wink.

  I resumed my usual routine upon hitting the alarm. Coffee, breakfast, pet Mike if he'd let me. I took to my car and arrived at work at the exact time I'd been arriving at work for the past five years.

  Accounts, accounts, accounts. My day dragged, bogged down by financial requests here, advanced leave approvals there. It felt like I was running in circles and completing a maze at the same time.

  "Hello?" I huffed my short greeting as I answered my ringing phone without checking the caller ID. A male's voice replied as I held the phone with my shoulder and flicked through some reports.

  "Y/n, hello!" he began. I frowned as I tried to place whose voice it belonged to. "It's Dennis Bailey, the general manager of Freddy Fazbear's Mega Pizzaplex. I hope I haven't caught you at a bad time."

  I almost dropped my phone from standing up so fast. Oh, god. What do I do? Hang up?

  "No, not at all!" I replied as I rushed to shut the door to my office and tried not to have a panic attack in the middle of my workday. 

  "Wonderful!" Dennis' reply was bright and chipper and felt like the opposite side of the coin from my dread. "Look, we just loved you at the pizzaplex-"

  I felt ice drip down my spine. No.

  "-and your qualifications are all up to standard for the position we're looking for."

  Please, for the love of god, no.

  "I wanted to know if you were free any time next week to pop back in for a retrospective meeting? Maybe introduce you to the stars themselves?"