They See Four

Chapter 2 ~ Numb

Grocery store trips were quite possibly Sarah's least favorite activity of all time, especially since she had to bring her, very noticeable, six-year-old. It wasn't terrible every time, however. Some nights she would go late, which meant fewer people would be there. Fewer eyes watching her and Lucas and less publicity were a great way to end the day.

Groaning, Sarah noticeably flinched as she entered their local grocery store, Lucas tightly gripping her right arm with both of his. She could already feel her skin burning: aware of every person in their vicinity. Holding Lucas's hand tighter in her own, Sarah began the battle of simply buying groceries.

Taking off down different aisles, Lucas struggled to hold onto his mother as Sarah seemed to barge past other people. Lucas held onto one arm while the other was preoccupied holding a basket and grabbing groceries with the same hand. She felt herself tire from this pretty quickly.

Pausing for a moment in a seemingly deserted aisle, Sarah sighed as Lucas huffed for air beside her. He let go, crossing all four arms together in a classic pout. Sarah honestly wondered how that worked but never brought Lucas's arms up with him. Not bringing them up felt like an odd safety net she had at her disposal.

Lucas whined, "Momma, I don't want to run around anymore! My arms hurt."

Sarah looked down at the ground, feeling guilty for what Lucas had to go through when she brought him here. It was a stressful experience, but she couldn't find the words to explain to a six-year-old why it was so stressful for his mommy.

She reached out to him as if asking forgiveness. "I'm sorry, Lucas. But, there are mean people in this place. I'm just trying to keep you safe."

Lucas's stern pout relinquished a bit; his four arms still crossed together. "I wanna walk."

Sarah smiled a bit. "Alright, we'll walk at your pace, okay?"

She held out her hand, but Lucas ignored it and took off ahead of her. Sarah almost laughed at his antics as she followed Lucas down the aisle. Alright, lead the way then, little man, she thought humorously.

As agreed upon, they only traveled through the store at Lucas's pace from that point on. Of course, sometimes Sarah had to remind the little boy of the goal they had in mind, as he tended to wander away at the sight of something new.

Sarah tried her best for him to ignore the stares. As they stood in one particular aisle, Lucas seemed almost to show off his arms as he grabbed four boxes of Macaroni and cheese, one in each hand.

"Mommy! Mac n' cheese!"

"You think something's wrong with him?"

"Maybe alcohol consumption during pregnancy."

"Nah, dude, that's just creepy."

Sarah shook her head sharply at Lucas, fighting the urge to whisk him away from the voices that surrounded them from passerby's and onlookers from afar.

"But Mom-"

"No. Lucas, put them back. We have plenty of other things to eat at home."

Lucas's arms dropped to his sides sadly as he begrudgingly put the boxes back on the shelf behind him.

"No one to blame but the mother."

"Just shut up!" Sarah turned on the people in the aisle behind her. "This is not your kid! He's mine! So mind your own f****** business!"

"Wow, even uses that kind of language in front of him. I bet law enforcement comes to take him away from her."

Sarah couldn't stand it anymore as Lucas moved close behind her to tug at her shirt. Swiftly grabbing his arm, he hardly protested as they stalked away from the unwavering eyes of the crowd behind them. Checking out hurriedly, they finally made it back to the car.

Sarah felt hot tears staining her cheeks as she tried securing Lucas in the backseat as they unwillingly escaped. Sure, everything she did was to protect Lucas, but sometimes she hurt him even more than those people could have the entire time. She shook softly.

Lucas noticed her odd behavior. "Momma?"

Sarah shook her head, quickly wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. "It's okay, sweetie. I'm alright."

Lucas hesitated to speak a moment as Sarah held his smaller hand gently. "Were those the mean people?"

Sarah started to respond but paused before she did. "Well, they were not friendly people, but mommy wasn't very nice back."

Lucas looked confused for a moment before she continued. "Lucas. If you ever meet mean people...don't be mean back like I was. They don't know what they're saying is hurtful, so you shouldn't be hurtful back."

Lucas sheepishly nodded as he contemplated her words the best a six-year-old kid could while Sarah planted a kiss on his head.

"I love you, sweetheart."

Lucas giggled as he always did when she told him that. "I love you too, Mommy."

Moving back, Sarah shut the door and climbed into the driver's seat, already ready for this day to be over.

As she drove in the rain, the sad scene before her reminded her of a similar day, long before she had Lucas.

~

William ran to the passenger side door, where Sarah sat huddled up in slight shock. Opening the door, he grabbed her hand as she climbed down from the tall truck seat. They squished together under a small umbrella and ran to the front door of their house, making quick work of the lock and pushing their way inside.

Sarah sniffed loudly and began removing her shoes, not wanting to meet William's gaze. Her eye and lower jaw throbbed from someone else's sloppy punch. William glanced at her with a brutal look as he made his way to the kitchen.

"We need to put some ice on that."

Sarah nodded. "Yeah." Her voice was sore from an argument she'd been a part of not too long ago.

Following her fiance' into the kitchen, William quickly handed her a bag of frozen veggies, which she delicately and rapidly pressed against her swollen eye.

William watched her a moment, leaning against the marble island in their kitchen, crossing his arms.

"I told you he hadn't changed. I told you not to see him. And what do you do? You go see him."

Sarah winced but retorted quickly. "He's my father, William. I wanted to hope he'd changed for the better."

William gestured to her as a whole. "Well, obviously, he didn't."

"Look, William. Berate me about it all you want, but arguing about this isn't going to make things better."

William scoffed. "We need to talk about this, Sarah! Your father punched you in the face! You don't see what's wrong about that?"

Sarah scoffed right back. "You're the one who agitated him. Running up to the door and demanding he never come around us again?! He wasn't that bad until you showed up!"

"So now all of this is my fault?! You getting punched is my fault?"

Sarah shook her head desperately. "No, but you certainly didn't help an already tense situation!"

William laughed now; his eyes guarded in a way Sarah had never seen before as he pushed past her, grabbing the car keys as he went.

"Where are you going now?" Sarah called after him, setting down the frozen compress.

William hardly glanced back. "Out. I can't be here right now."

As the door slammed behind him, the house was quiet. And so was Sarah. As she stood there, still watching the door he'd left through; she felt numb again for the first time in a long time.