Fade in to Doc and Sabine walking up to Andy, Church and Caboose far from Blue Base.
Tucker: (off in the distance) Oh God... I think it's coming back up. BLAHGH!
Church shivers at that and looks at them.
Doc: Okay everybody, I'm gonna give Tucker his physical now. Would either of you like to assist?
O'Malley: That's just a fancy way of saying "hold the vomit bucket," huhuhuhuheuw.
Church backs away.
Church: Uh, sorry I'm busy.
Doc looks at caboose.
Doc: Caboose?
Caboose: I can't.
Doc: Well why not?
Caboose: Oh, because uh, I am allergic to things that I don't want to do. (cough cough cough), coughing.
Doc: Sabine?
Sabine: I'm good. I just got healed, I don't need to get sick as well.
Doc: Ohokay, just more fun for me.
Sabine: Oh and tell me when he wakes up because I still have to apologize for knocking him out.
Cut to Sarge watching Doc depart to the base through the sniper rifle
Sarge: Well, you won't believe this, it looks like the Blues have teamed up with O'Malley and kidnapped Sabine. Those dirty backstabbers!
Grif: Our enemies teamed up with our enemy. How is that a backstab?
Sarge: Exactly! No good two-timers! Alright men, let's get in there and acquire that exploding translator thing so we can figure out what Lopez is saying.
Lopez: No más vas a estar decepcionado. [You're just going to be disappointed.]
Sarge: I agree Lopez, time is of the essence.
Lopez: ¿Por qué estás contestando si usted no sabe qué estoy diciendo? [Why do you bother replying if you don't know what I'm saying?]
Sarge: Heh heh heh, good one amigo.
Lopez: Dios mío, alguien por favor máteme. [Oh God, someone please kill me.]
Sarge: I see the bomb. He's right next to Caboose.
Grif: Which one is Caboose again? I get confused. Is he the stupid mean one (camera pans to Sarge), the stupid annoying one (camera pans to Simmons), or the stupid stupid one (camera pans to Donut)?
Simmons: Stupid stupid.
Grif: Oh yeah, right. What an idiot.
Simmons: Yeah totally.
Donut: Sarge, I hate to point out the obvious, but since we can see them with the sniper rifle, why don't we just shoot 'em? It would be easier to get Sabine back.
Sarge: Shame on you, Donut! A sniper rifle is a coward's weapon. When you kill your enemy, you wanna look in his eyes so he knows you're the one who beat him to death! It also gives you the chance to deliver some really zippy one-liners. Like "I hope you brought your wallet, because the rent in Hell gets paid in advance!"
Grif: (sigh), oh my God.
Sarge: Or my personal favorite, "You've just got Sarged." Hhheh heh heh, classic.
Lopez: Hablo en serio. Deséo morir. [I mean it, I want to die.]
Sarge: Hand-to-hand combat is the old school way to kill your foes, it hearkens back to the honored traditions when combatants respected one another. Killing a man with your bare hands says "we're all equals as men. Except I'm slightly more equal 'cause I'm still alive and you're dead." Of course dropping a nuke on them from fifty thousand feet is also totally acceptable. I mean let's face it, there's just not enough time in this busy world to show everybody the courtesy of a good strangling.
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Red vs blue and purple
FanficO'Malley and Lopez escaped and something destroyed their robot armor. Sabine had another flashback and she remembers that she has a brother, that might not be alive. The red are back in blood gulch and Simmons sees a tank, that nobody believes. The...
