Grow As We Go

XLIV.

JUNGKOOK

The number you're calling is currently out of dial. Please leave a message after th--

I sighed once again as I put my phone down. She couldn't have left just yet. She mentioned her flight was still at around 9 o'clock this evening.


I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder, making me turn my head towards the owner, "What's wrong? You seemed down ever since breakfast"

We were currently in the car headed to the venue for GAA. We were told we had to attend the red carpet so we came earlier.

I just shook my head at Namjoon hyung, "Don't worry hyung, I promise this won't affect my performance later"


He stared at me, as if investigating the truth from within me. Then he sighed, "Try to keep it together for a bit longer. We can talk about it after everything later, yea?"

I just nodded at him and faced ahead to try and mentally prepare myself for tonight's show.




***



"No sht, this is a really good one, Jk!"

I nodded in agreement as I poured myself a glass as well. careful Jk, we don't wanna waste expensive wine now, do we? nah I don't mind, I could just buy hundred bottles more if I want hoho hihi

"yo don't tell me you're drunk already. Why are you snickering to yourself while looking at that wine bottle... "

I looked at him, mentally scoffing at his absurd assumption. of course not, I'm perfectly fine.


He was about to say something again when we suddenly heard the doorbell ring. Taehyung hyung looked at me questioningly to which I just shrugged.

He stood up to check who it was, "Who's there?" He peaked through the hole first before he opened the door.

"Oh? Taehyung, I didn't know you were here." Namjoon hyung commented as he made his way in.

Taehyung hyung closed the door before he followed suit, "I was just about to invite this dude here for a quick drink earlier, only to find out he was already having his own solo drinking session here"

I saw Namjoon hyung look at me and of course we gotta greet the great captain with a salute, yea?

"Wow, how could you get drunk at this time when we're about to head home a few hours from now"

I smiled at him, "I'm not yet drunk hyung. Maybe tipsy but not drunk. And I'm just gonna finish this bottle with hyung and I'll be good"

I saw Taehyung hyung pour himself another glass and offered it to Namjoon hyung but was politely declined by the latter.

Taehyung hyung then went on to sit on my bed beside Namjoon hyung who sighed, "Perhaps... Is the reason why you're drinking right now, the same reason why you came back with bloodshot eyes last night?"

This made me pause and look at him. He looked at me intently as if daring me to deny it. I do remember greeting him as I passed by the lobby where he was reading last night.

"last night? weren't you with Lisa last night?" Taehyung hyung was utterly confused. Namjoon hyung raised his eyebrow at this new information.

I could only look down and nod. I sighed, "I.. uh went over my head and said things to her and she... I..."

I looked at them, "I don't know, hyung. Its complicated"

"How so?" Namjoon hyung asked.

I avoided both of their curious stares because I couldn't bring myself to speak of the real issue. I mean, how am I supposed to tell them that I am just a big coward who can't seem to date the girl he has feelings for just because he's afraid of possibly losing her altogether. How can I possibly tell them that I fucking hate myself for being too much tainted by what happened in my past relationship. I can't help but equate the idea of dating her to the thought of eventually losing her in my life and I don't think I can ever bear with that if that happens.

"Jungkook..." Taehyung hyung's voice took me out of my dreaded thoughts.

"Perhaps... This has nothing to do with Yeojin contacting you again, right?"