SOUR

deja vu

DUFF POV

The last of the boxes were moved into her apartment. The white walls seem so clean and neutral compared to the chaotic color scheme she had picked in our apartment. She came out of where her bedroom would be, hair tied up in a blue bandana, white tank top and simple blue denim shorts.

"That's the last box." I pointed lamely to where the cardboard sat and she nodded. It was clear Y/N was still pissed off at both Nikki and myself but it seemed like it was justified after the past six weeks.

Nikki and I had a falling out where pretty much anything we agreed on was out the door and we were back to being enemies. Which felt good because fuck that guy. Fuck him. Nikki Sixx was the reason that I had to teach Y/N how to be loved. I had to show her that her independence was a good thing and wasn't taking away from my feelings for her. I had to help her grow wings and fly after he had kept her caged for so long. I never put a muzzle on her laughter. I never put her in situations where she would be afraid of me or embarrassed. All I did was love her and give her the type of love without limitations.

And my repayment of this came in the form of her not remembering me.

"Thanks for helping me move in." She leaned against the bedroom door frame, her eyes watching me, still angry. "I know the last week has been tense but I'm not going to apologize because you and NIkki both seemed to be handing me with kid gloves and holding my life in the balance. And I know it's probably really hard for you both but if either of you ever loved me then you should have given me honesty." I nodded, stuffing my hands in my pants.

"You're right. I'm sorry." Her eyes were waiting for me to add a but to that but there wasn't any but that needed to be added, "Nikki and I thought we shouldn't overwhelm you and that wasn't fair to you." Her arms were crossed and I knew she wasn't going to give me an inch in this.

"Nikki loves me in a glass house. It's like he keeps me in this cage where I'm expected to tiptoe around and he thinks he's some protective force for me. So Nikki not eyeing shit to me I expect. But you, Duff, you loved me freely. You let me do things and pushed me to always be more. Why did you close the doors to my memories?" And the way she looked at me, the way her eyes watered and she stared at me I realized I had betrayed her.

There was a lump in my throat that wouldn't swallow down as I saw her crying. I had made her cry. I couldn't blame her ex or anyone else but this was me and my decision that had broken her.

Before I could stop myself and give her the space she needed I had her in my arms, holding her tightly to my chest. She resisted for a second but soon she let herself go. We crumpled to the floor. A heap of bodies and tears. Both of us were crying together. Tears of regret and a love that we shared.

And it just happened. I don't know who pressed their lips against who's first but they were there. And she was holding my t-shirt, her hips rocking into mine in these needy little grinds. Begging me for more as she bounced on my lap.

And a stronger person might have said no. But I wasn't a saint.

Her hands were in the air and I pulled off her t-shirt, a nipple in my mouth before the shirt even hit the ground. Her moans and hands in my hair holding me in place.

A part of me wanted to wait until I knew she was ready and had more memories of me but the part of me currently in charge of my brain was ready to give her something to remember.

"Mattress. On the mattress." She got out. I forgot the way her moans would make me stupid. It was like a siren song that had me following commands. I stood with her, her legs wrapped around me and her lips connecting against mine as we stumbled and fell on the unmade bed. The bed frame in the corner and boxes surrounding us.