Spaces

CHAPTER 11 - Half A Heart

ZAYN POV

Cassy saying ‘I hate you’ kept playing inside my head. I was frozen momentarily. I knew she was going to hate me, but hearing it from her sounds so real and it hurts even more. I went downstairs, but it was too late. I stopped by the front door, watching them drive away with tears welling up in my eyes.

I deserve this. I deserve to hurt and cry like this. I’m an idiot. I’m the biggest jerk out there. What have I done? I didn’t think about the consequences that lying and breaking up with her brought. I was just blinded by the thought of being free, and I thought that was my happiness. I thought I chose my happiness over her. But right now, I’m far from happy. Cassy is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I am so dumb to let her go like that. I’m stupid for lying to her and taking her for granted.

Being in this house right now brings back a lot of memories. I felt so small and alone. Everything and every room smells of her. Every room felt empty. Our pictures were still hanging on the walls, some of my clothes in our closet looked like they were left untouched ever since we broke up, except for my sweater.

I want to go back to the way we used to be. I want us back. I want her back. I want her to forgive me. I need her here with me. I need her to tell me that everything’s going to be alright. I need to talk to her and do everything to make her come back.

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and changed into clean clothes. I laid down on my—our—bed, hoping she’d come back for me.

THE NEXT MORNING

My head and my eyes were aching slightly from all the crying last night. The space beside me on the bed felt so cold and empty. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and saw that I had so many missed calls and texts from so many people, but I saw none from the person I wanted.

I let out a deep, heavy sigh. I had to do something to get her back. But first, I have to apologize and make it up to her.

After I cleaned myself up, I made my way out of the house and headed towards Harry’s. I knew she was in there. I wasn’t okay about her staying at Harry’s, but I’ll worry about that later.

I knocked on Harry’s door, and he opened it a few minutes later.

“I need to speak to her.” I said.

“She’s not here.” He replied, closing the door but I stopped him.

“Bullshit. I know she’s in there.” I said firmly, but a second later, I softened up. “Please, Harry. I just want to apologize.”

“No. Zayn, please give her time. You hurt her, she’s been crying a lot. And you showing up is only making her even more upset. You need to understand that she doesn’t want to see you.” Then he closed the door and locked it.

I hate how Harry is coming in between us. I know he’s only looking for Cassy, but I am pretty determined to take Cassy back. I knocked again, but Harry wasn’t answering me. Fine. I left his house, thinking of another plan.

HARRY POV

I went back up to my room, and I saw Cassy getting up from the bed. “Who was that?” She said sleepily.

“No one. Wrong address.” I lied, then forced a smile. I didn’t want her to know Zayn was back. She’d only get upset, and I didn’t want to see her cry again. “Let’s get breakfast, yeah?”

ZAYN POV

That night…

I went back to Harry’s house, and saw Harry getting inside his car, but got out again the minute he saw me.

“Zayn? Please, I’m asking you to leave.” He said calmly, placing his hands on my chest to stop me from moving forward.

“Harry, please. You don’t understand. Just let me talk to her. Just once.” I pleaded, prying Harry’s hands away from me.

Cassy then appeared from the house, stopping in her tracks when she saw me. “Harry, let’s go.” She said, heading straight to the car.

But Harry was too busy stopping me and keeping me away from her. “Cassy. Cassy, please let’s talk properly. I miss you so much.” I said, trying to push Harry so I could get to her.

“Harry, let’s go.” She said, getting inside the car. Harry got inside as well, and I ran to Cassy’s side.

“Cassy, please. Please, I just want to talk.” I begged, but she was already rolling her windows up and ignored me as she looked straight ahead.  “Cassy!” The car started moving, but I tried to follow them as much as I can. “Cassy!” I called out again, but the car was already moving too fast. I was left on the road, alone once again.

HARRY POV

I glanced over at Cassy and I saw that her cheeks were stained with tears. Here comes that feeling again. It felt like I failed to protect her again. Like I’ve let her down. I just wanted her to keep in mind that Zayn wasn’t worth her tears but it wasn’t that easy. Right now, I just want to strangle Zayn for inflicting so much pain on Cassy. 

ZAYN POV

THE NEXT DAY

I haven’t stopped texting her. I told her I missed her, that I just want to talk to her. I kept trying to call her, but no answer. I kept texting her my explanations, but she probably isn’t reading them. I had to talk to her face to face.

I went to Harry’s house once again, this time even more determined to not leave without talking to her. Just like the first time, I knocked and Harry answered. He tried to keep me out, but Cassy came and saw me.

“Zayn, just leave.” She said, taking Harry’s place and closing the door. But I stopped her.

“Cassy, let’s talk. I just need to talk to you, that’s it. I miss you.” I told her, reaching out to touch her arm. But she yanked her arm away from me.

“Do you really miss me or is it just another lie?” She spat out. Her face was emotionless.

“No, it’s true. I’m not—“

“Please, leave Zayn. And stop texting me, stop calling me. Stop coming here, I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to hear your voice.” Then she closed the door, successfully this time because her words left me frozen.