Mr Brightside || Danny Gonzalez x Drew Gooden

chapter sixteen // goodbye

October 14th, 2019

Saying goodbye was probably the hardest thing we had to do throughout this entire trip. I wish I could say that I was strong, but that is very much a lie. I was shaking, holding back tears when we said goodbye to Kurtis, watching him get in his car with Jenna and drive off. Then it was Danny's turn, and when he hugged me I couldn't hold it back anymore.

The tears came spilling out of my eyes like a waterfall, my knees giving way as I leaned onto him. I grabbed onto his shirt as tight as I did the night we kissed. I held him like a lifeline, I didn't want to let go, but I knew we couldn't hug forever, and much too soon we pulled away. He wiped the tears off my face with his thumbs, his own eyes watery.

"Jesus," He laughed, a single tear rolling down his face, "dude I'm not dying."

"I know, but it feels like I am," I said, instantly cringing at myself.

"Always so dramatic." He joked, sniffling and wiping his eyes with his sleeve, he then gave me long hug, which again, wasn't long enough. "I'll see you soon."

He then waved a teary goodbye as Laura drove up into the driveway, he climbed in and I watched as he drove out of sight.

When Amanda pulled up to me, I threw myself at her. Pulling her into a tight embrace, overjoyed to be with her again. As I hugged her it felt like every single thought of guilt and fear shriveled up and disappeared. I don't know how long I hugged her but she held me, it was like she knew everything without even saying a word. It was like everything felt right at the same time, so wrong.

As I hugged her I suddenly felt Danny in my arms, his fluffy hair tickling my nose. I brushed it away but it never really disappeared, he lingered in the back of my head. And the regret that I said I never felt, started to seep in, but the longer she hugged me the smaller and smaller the thought of Danny in the embrace got. Smaller, yes but never gone.