Mr Brightside || Danny Gonzalez x Drew Gooden

chapter eighteen // dear danny.

Dear Danny,

As much as I hate to admit it, I loved you. I always had, maybe not always in the same way but I did. There is nobody on Earth who I cared for more than you. If I had to choose between you and anybody else to die for, it would be you. You would probably say I'm dramatic and I guess I agree, but unfortunately I'm only speaking the truth. I loved you and I never thought it was possible for somebody to love someone so fucking much, but here we are.

And I hated it, I hated the way it felt whenever we would brush past each other or when we would lock eyes, or when you smiled that fucking gorgeous smile. But I couldn't stop them, so I embraced them. I know that we belong with each other. Maybe not as lovers but at least platonically. And maybe it is a little narcissistic to love someone who is allegedly the same person as you but it's true. And I wish I could have told you that I did, I wish I didn't wait so long until I couldn't.

The thought of us, it ate me up alive, every day I thought of you. Every day I felt your lips on mine. Every day, you would show up, somewhere, even if it was in the deepest part of my mind, you were there. And I wish that I could have been here for longer, long enough to be able to really work things out between us.

I can't even express how I felt when you finally kissed me. It was just one night but from that one moment, we were swept away. Desperate for the physical touch of each other, our lips tingling for the feeling of our lips together, our hands shaking for the need of intertwining our fingers. We wanted so much of each other. But we knew better, we loved other people.

And it turns out that the biggest obstacle of our relationship was. Ourselves. We were the ones stopping anything from really happening between us. I feel like we were destined to meet, but not destined to be together, you really were the right person at the wrong time. But the one thing I wish I could have told you never left my mouth. I love you, Danny. Never let it slip your fucking mind because there was never a second where I ever doubted it. I love you.

Drew.