LOUIS' POV
I can't do this. I can't keep on pretending that I actually did cheat on Harry. I know he hates me but after today's game of Never have I ever, he's gonna hate me even more. Why do they have to ask such questions. I can't think straight. I need my blade right now. The pressure is too much to handle.
Currently I'm standing in the studio bathroom, taking slow drags from my cigarette.
I need to calm my nerves before meeting the boys again.
I was way too engrossed in my thoughts to hear the bathroom door open. I didn't even see someone walk in as I was facing away from the door . I jumped a bit when I heard my name being called.
"Louis."
That voice. That deep raspy voice which I used to adore, still do. He's calling me. And I'm surprised that there's no hate or anger laced in his voice. Oh god! This all is so overwhelming.
"What do you want Harry?" I asked in the most calm and cold tone I could muster; still slowly inhaling the smoke. My fingers are shaking from anticipation; thank god that I'm not facing him.
"You shouldn't smoke that much." Harry said after a few moments of silence.
I'm surprised for the millionth time today. He still cares. He still cares about my health. A feeling of nostalgia washed me. Back in those days when we were in a relationship, he always requested me to stop smoking in the same way.
Or maybe, he's just doing his duty. Yes, he would've done it with anyone. I'm not special. Not after what I've done. Or what he thinks I've done. I scoffed at my own ridiculous thoughts.
When I didn't reply Harry started speaking again. "Look Lou-"
"It's Louis." I corrected without turning. My heart broke while saying that but I have to keep my façade up.
"Louis." He repeated slowly, more to himself. Hurt lacing his voice.
"Look Louis, I know we ended on bad terms and now I think it's time we sort things out. It's been 5 years and I haven't heard from you even for once in these years. Neither did Zayn or Niall."
I turned to look at him. He was fiddling with his fingers and biting his lips like he used to when he was anxious or scared. I looked him in the eyes.
"Oh, I'm sorry that I didn't want to bother my ex-boyfriend and ex-bestfriends after they asked me not to return to their lives ever again." I said sarcastically.
"You can't blame me alright? It wasn't me who decided to cheat. You cheated on me and now acting all innocent is not gonna work. You're saying sorry sarcastically and you can't say sorry genuinely for what you did to me? Why? You broke my heart Louis, you broke my trust. And about Niall and Zayn, it was their decision to cut ties with you. I didn't provoke them to do anything against it." He said all in one breath, seeming frustrated. I can't blame him though.
"You never listened to my side of the story." The words left my mouth before I could stop them. I regretted immediately and turned away from him to face the wall. My wrists are itching and I want nothing more than to open the wounds.
"What?" He asked. Confused.
"Nothing." I sighed. "Wasn't for you. And if you want apology, here it is." I turned around again and locked eyes with him.
"I'm sorry for whatever I did to you, I'm sorry for cheating on you, I'm sorry for breaking your heart, I'm sorry for creating awkwardness within the band and I'm sorry for making you feel responsible for everything that happened. You're not the one to blame, I'm responsible for any kind of mishap that took place within the band, in our relationship, as well as our friendship."
He seems to be taken aback. Nonetheless, he smiled. "I'm sorry too, for not letting you explain your reasons."
"Don't be." I said plainly, my voice void of any emotion. I can't say that it was okay for him to treat me the way he treated but I can't. And I don't want him to feel guilty either.
"Do you wanna do it now?" He asked, sounding unsure.
"Do what?" I asked confused.
"Explain I mean. Why did you do that."
I dropped the cigarette on the floor and stepped on it, putting off the flame.
"It's of no use now. Have a good day Harry." I said before walking out of the bathroom without glancing back. I need to cut.
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It was always you ~ L.S. ✅
Fanfiction[COMPLETED] Its been 5 years since one direction have broken up. 5 years since Harry and Louis ended up in bad terms. After 5 years in 2020, each member of the band receive calls from Simon Cowell who informed them about their reunion. What will h...
