We’re already on the road and he’s still not speaking to me. I want to probe but I need to make sure I don’t hit a nerve. When he gets like this, I just let him simmer because he’s just going to relax after a few minutes of keeping silent.
“Sean…” I rubbed his arm to make him start talking. We’re almost at my apartment and he hasn’t said anything.
“Hmm?” I kept quiet when he answered. Still not the right time.
Few more minutes have passed and we’re already in front of my apartment. He really needs to start talking because whatever is bothering him tonight will spill over tomorrow and I cannot have that. It’s going to make both of us lose sleep.
“Come on, please start talking. I can’t understand if you don’t tell me.”
“I’m tired Jamie, let’s talk tomorrow.” He’s trying to control his temper.
“You really want to end this night with not talking about whatever this is?”
“Yes! Sometimes we have to, you know? What’s so bad about asking to talk about this tomorrow?”
“Nothing! And please don’t raise your voice. Whatever that is, don’t take it out on me. I just wanted you to tell me, alright?” I know I’m sounding irritated.
“Here I thought you’re good with people’s subtle cues. Guess that doesn’t work all the time.” answering me back sarcastically.
“What does that even mean? I’m not some mind reader that can magically know what you’re thinking!”
“Right. Obviously you wouldn’t notice because you were enjoying the talk with whatever his name is.”
What is he on about? Drew? Did he not notice that I kept my distance and I was even feeling awkward?
“Who are you referring to? Drew? Don’t be that kind of guy, Sean.” I warned, irritation already evident in my voice. I won’t tolerate this.
“What kind?” He’s still being sarcastic. That tone is making my blood boil.
“Stop being immature. And stop being sarcastic!”
“I’m being immature? Me?”
This is not going anywhere. I’m getting so pissed.
“You know what, you’re being irrational and if you’re not going to properly talk to me, so be it. Go home, sleep it off. I don’t need to explain myself, even if there is nothing to and I don’t even understand what I need to explain, to someone who wouldn't even try talking sensibly to me.”
“I’m being irrational? Coming from you? That’s just rich, Jamie.”
“See, I said a bunch of stuff and you only heard “irrational”?
“You’re the one who called me irrational, I just repeated it.”
I’m so pissed right now, I cannot believe he’s being like this. Breathe, Jamie.
“Whatever. This conversation, if you can call it that, is not going anywhere. I don’t need this tonight, I am so tired. You’re not going to talk anyway so just go home.” My voice cracked.
I’m ending this argument while I still have some rationality left in me because if we continue, we’re just going to end up saying hurtful things we will regret. I’m not letting him see me cry my frustration out here in the car. I’m going to hold it in until I get in my apartment.
I got out of the car in a rush without hearing what he has to say. I can understand that he’s tired and that he’s jealous even though for the life of me I do not see why he should be.
He drove away, just drove away. Great.
I guess we’re ending this night with an argument, which I don’t know why it even began in the first place.
