Sean’s POV continued… (because you know, he has not apologized properly yet so let’s give him a chance)
Like the behaved boy I am, I waited for her to take her seat and eat. I have to really thank my father for sending me to that martial arts class after I got into trouble in school, it’s totally helping me right now when I needed self control but that didn’t work last night though.
I poured water on her glass while she ate. She’s almost done eating so I stood up, got a cup on the counter and prepared her favorite tea. She’s watching me closely. I placed it in front of her but she’s still not saying a word. Her facial expression though is different than what she had when she opened the door so I can still hold on for a few minutes of silence, I think.
Not. Not anymore.
“I’m so so sorry.” Breaking the silence we’ve been having for almost an hour now.
She’s just staring at me, looking hurt.
“There’s no excuse for my behavior last night. Absolutely nothing. I know I’m at fault. I’m really so sorry. Please forgive me.”
She’s trying to hold it in but after a few seconds, she spoke.
“You just drove off.” She said so softly while looking down on her cup of tea. Mad Jamie is gone but hurt Jamie is a worse sight to see.
“I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t even call me last night.” She's trying not to cry.
I know she’d been crying, I see how her eyes are and it’s making me feel sorrier.
“It’s my fault.”
“I didn’t want a screaming match with you, I just wanted you to talk.”
“I know, baby. I’m so sorry.”
I reached for her hand and she let me but her tears, they just fell. I went to her side of the table, knelt in front and wiped those tears away. I’ve not seen this in a long while, only ever did in our first major fight early in our relationship. She doesn’t cry easily and when she does, it’s never a good feeling, ever. Especially when it’s my stupid fault.
Arguing with her last night was my first strike, driving off was my second, not calling after or not even going back to her apartment was my third. If I could throw in a fourth, it’s making her wake up feeling heavy like this.
I don’t know what else to do right at this very moment so I just hugged her tight. I sighed when she hugged me back. I know I’m not yet forgiven but this is a sign that she’ll actually let me explain myself later, but right now I just need her to calm down. I rubbed her back while she sobs. I’m an idiot and I know it.
Moments passed and she let go of me. Even if I didn’t want to, I had to. I pulled the empty chair and sat beside her, I know it’s time for me to explain myself.
“I had a few arguments with the team yesterday that’s why the meeting took longer than I expected it to. They weren't getting the point I was driving at and wouldn’t even accept some suggestions from the others too because some of them were pushing their own agendas. Let’s just say I was not very friendly.”
I wiped some remaining traces of the tears she had on her face and continued.
“I was tired and was already running late. I didn’t want you to keep waiting because I know how important that dinner is for you, you have your seniors there. My exhaustion got the best of me then I saw that guy hitting on you. I know those looks perfectly. It’s not your fault I know but I heard you laughing at whatever he was saying and it triggered my annoyance. Not at you but at him because I’m too sure that you told him about me being there.”
She wanted me to talk, so I will.
“I'm so so sorry, I sincerely am for yesterday, this morning, and now. I am even more sorry that I took it out on you in the car. I have no explanation for that, Jamie. None. That behavior was just stupid and totally unacceptable, I know. Not talking to you, driving off, not calling you last night and even this morning. I’m sorry for all of it, I know I hurt you. Please, let me make it up to you.”
“I don’t like that version of you.” She finally said.
“Me neither.”
