Our Sun And Moon//lashton

Chapter 3

Ashton's POV

My head is killing me, I wake up to darkness outside. I look around for my phone. It's no where to be found. I slide myself outta my bunk and make my way into the living room. The clock on the microwave said 11pm. None of the boys are in here I guess they are sleeping. I make my way back to the bunk area. I stop and listen for a moment and all I hear are snores. I walk back into the bathroom and lock the door behind me. I open the cabinet up....it's gone. My container....fuck...fuck...fuck. Where is it??? I start looking through the whole cabinet panicked.

"What are you looking for?" I hear luke behind me.

"I had a container here, have you seen it?" I ask.

"No I'm sorry I haven't seen one, come back to sleep, it's getting late." He says, I follow behind him. Maybe I just misplaced it this trip? I've been pretty drugged up. I follow him into the bunk area. I get back into my bed. Starting at the ceiling on the bunk. I need the razors. It's all that's on my mind right now  I look over to Luke's bunk. I see the glow of his phone. I feel around for my phone so I can text him.

ASHTON: are you sure you didn't see the container?

LUKE: you mean the one with razors in it?

Fuck. He knew. I had to lie

ASHTON: razors?

LUKE: yeah I found some earlier and hide them, just because your where pretty outta it. For your own safety

ASHTON: oh no. Those aren't mine. Im looking for my contact container.

LUKE: promise?

ASHTON: yes, I've been clean for awhile. I promise

I kept them just incase. Just incase I needed them and now they where gone. My body sent into a panic. I feel my mind start to race. My heartbeat started to speed up. My breathing got loud. Im having a panic attack. I felt the curtain get pulled back gently.

"Are you okay?" I turned to see Micky standing there. I couldn't speak. Just panic. I feel like I'm drowning.

"Hey, your okay, I promise." He says. "I know your going through withdrawals right now, it's okay." He puts his hand on the top of my head and with the other strokes my hand. I feel like I'm dying. Eventually my breathing evens out and I shut my eyes and felt the sleep take over me

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The next day

I feel useless, I can't move from here, turn over on my side and curl up into the fetal position. I open the blinks in my bunk to watch the landscape pass by. It's meaningless. I'm meaningless. I wonder what time it is

"Cal what do you want for lunch?" I hear someone say. I'm guessing it's lunchtime now. I don't have the energy to leave this spot. My body hurts. All I feel is numbness and anger. Why do I feel angry? There's nothing for me to be upset about. I feel a hand on my back and a body next to mine. I roll over to see luke sitting there

"Sorry did I wake you? I was checking up on you." He says. I don't have any effort to say anything. I just wrapped my arms around his torso and snuggled into him. I feel one of his hands on my back rubbing it and the other hand is running through my hair.

"I know today is gonna be one of the worse with the withdrawals. But I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere so I can rub your back, and we can watch a movie later." He says. I feel guilty I don't want his pity.

"Im fine." I managed to say

"Do you want me to leave?" He asked I didn't say anything I just held onto him tighter letting him know that I wanted him to stay. I didn't want him to leave me.