Our Sun And Moon//lashton

Chapter 6

Ashton's POV

I woke up snuggled up with luke. I rolled over and noticed a pill bottle with a note next to it

Came in late last night, take these asap ashton. -Adam

Finally I had my meds back. Honestly I'm torn. Part of me wants to take them and the other part doesn't. I know I should. I reach over and grab the bottle and take one out and swallow it. I know it's gonna take a few days or weeks for them to work again but you have to start somewhere. I roll back over into Luke's warm embrace. His hair is a mess and his dark circles are deep. I feel bad. He's had to babysit me on our off time and he has had no time to rest and reset. Todays our last rest day and I'm gonna make sure he is rested. I slip outta bed and grab my vans from the floor. I put my phone in my pocket and grab my wallet from the table. Throwing my shoes, I quietly shut the door behind me and make my way out of the hotel room. I exit the hotel and start walking down the streets of London. I soon stumble upon a small cafe and I walk inside. I walk up to the counter. There's an older lady working

"What can I get you hon?" She ask me.

"One latte and one black iced coffee." I say. I give her the money and then take a seat on the near by couch to wait. I'm looking at my phone when a young girl comes up to me. She looks no older then 15.

"Your the Ashton Irwin." She says quietly. Her jaw almost hitting the floor.

"Haha, yes I am! And you are?" I ask

"Murphy, I don't wanna be a bother, but can I please get a a picture with you? If it isn't to much trouble!" She ask me

"Yes my dear!" I pull out my phone and snap a quick picture of us together. "Better yet, let me throw this up on my Twitter! Just to showcase the London show! Will you be there?" I ask her

"Oh my gosh! Yes I will! Front row! You've made my day!" Her face erupts with a smile. I thanked her for her fan-ship and grabbed my coffees so that I could head back to the hotel. I arrived back and open the door quietly, just incase someone was still asleep. I walk into me and Luke's room. He's still out. I kick my shoes off and set the coffees down on the night table. I slide into the bed next to him and gently rub his back, just like he does mine. He rolls over and his head is in my chest. I place my hand on the back of his head. Lightly playing with his hair.

"Ashton?" His morning voice questions. He sits himself up besides me.

"I got you coffee!" I tell him as I reach over and grab the black iced coffee from the table.

"When did you wake up, it's only 9am" he says as he points to the hotel clock

"About an hour ago, I woke up and took my meds and went to grab coffee." I tell him, "I'm gonna take an actual shower, go back to sleep." I say. With no response in return other then the sound of the cup being set down and his head hitting the pillow. I walk into the bathroom and grab my toiletries bag. I unzip it and pull the ripped lining back. I take the razor out of its hiding spot and pull my sweatshirt up. I slowly make the first cut along the top of my hip. Relishing in the sweet sting of it, the feeling washes over me. I take a deep breath and make three more. Once again the sick pleasurable pain hits me. I turn the shower on and hope inside. Watching my blood go down the drain had a hint of wrongness to it but at the same time it's calming. I wash my hair and body, avoiding the one spot. Soon I turn the water off and dry off. I throw back on the clothes I had on and walk back to the bed. Luke was still out cold. I slide in the bed with him once again. I don't touch him but rather I just lay on my side facing away from him. Guilt has started to fill me. Why did I do that? I can for sure say it's addicting. I feel an arm reaching over me, and it pulls me back. In his sleep he pulled me closer to him. I lay there. His body pressed against mine. I don't deserve this. I deserve to be dead. I've done nothing but cause problems for luke. I can't cry. Not today, he needs a break from my issues. I roll over into Luke's body. His eyes are open and staring at me.