A Dauntless Kind of Love

Twentynine

I woke at the feeling of arms around my waist but I knew instantly that they didn't belong to Eric and that made me feel sick. I woke up with a stomach turning urge and ran to the bathroom, emptying the contents of yesterday's breakfast, which wasn't much.
I feel Four pull my hair back and rub my back. "Are you ok?"
"Four, what we did was so wrong."
He shook his head and dropped my hair as I sat up, leaning against the wall.
"Kraven, you're leaving him!"
"But I'm still married! You still have Tris! We can't do this." I can't look at him because I know that if I do I'll cave.. He walks out of the bathroom and shuts the door behind him. I get to my feet and look in the mirror. I look like shit. I pull Four's shirt over my head and jump in the shower.
When I get out, I check the mirror again, I don't look much better. I had dark circles under my eyes and I looked sunken in. I wrap the towel around me and walk out the room and over to my bag that holds my clothes.
Four was gone.
As I get dressed I can't help but think about the mistake I just made. What kind of person am I?
I pulled my clean clothes on and then tug my hair into a messy top knot. Emotionally I felt like shit. I just want to find Eric and tell him I'm sorry and that I love him. But I couldn't do that. I have to stand my ground. He has to know he can't just run things all the time. I take my bag back to mine and Eric's apartment and notice that something is terribly wrong. The small kitchen table is overturned. while a lamp is shattered on the floor. Lovely. I drop my backpack on the couch and then proceed to clean up Eric's mess.
After doing that I head towards Eric's office but before I knock on the door it opens to reveal Zac and Eric.
"Oh if your busy I can come back." I could tell by the look on Eric's face that he wasn't expecting to see me. He was shocked.
"I was just leaving." Zac says, he knew what was going on, and quickly walks away.
"Come in." Eric closes the door behind me.
"I stopped by the apartment." I admit and I watch his face for signs. He just nods. "I liked that lamp."
"I'll buy you a new one."
"Why did you promise Jeanine Mathews you would help expose the Divergent's." His eyes were dark and his brow was scrunched. He was still angry.
"You lost your memory and it didn't look like you were getting it back. Jeanine had a memory serum and I was going to do anything and everything I could to get it. I got it."
I took a deep shaky breath and sighed.
"You did t for me." he stays quiet. "Just how, exactly, did you figure you would help her?"
"Kraven I don't give a fuck about anyone else but you! I could insure that you didn't get tested and honestly, as long as you are safe, I don't care what happens to the others." I wasn't surprised by his answer because honestly, this is Eric.
Then I started to cry. Tears just ran from checks and I wasn't sure why.
Within a second, Eric had his arms around me and my head against his chest.
"Kraven please don't cry. I know things have been hard since we lost the baby but please... I'm trying here! I really am. He kisses my head and I pull away, tears still staining my cheeks.
"Eric I miss you! I miss you from before a this happened!" he puts his hands on my face and pulls me into a kiss. It feels so familiar, so real. Its been so long since we kissed like this, like we needed each other. I wrap my arms around his neck and he pulls me closer.
"Please don't leave me." He whispers against my lips and I shake my head.
"I wont."

"I'm not leaving Eric." I told Four and he just shook his head.
"You're making a mistake."
"No Four. Im not. I already made the mistake, when I slept with you three days ago."
I had waited to tell Four, mostly because I was avoiding him and partly because I was afraid to tell him. I love Four but I love Eric so much more.
"That's bull shit and you know it!" He raised his voice and I rolled my eyes, turning away from him.
"Four just stop it! You love Tris!"
His look was cold and I tried to ignore it as I walked away. I know I complicated things but it wasn't what I intended.
I get back to the apartment and smile when I see Eric sitting on the couch, reading a book. As I crawl onto the couch he opens his arms so I can snuggle close to him.
He continues to read but this time aloud. I listened to his voice with my eyes close and I let the feeling of completeness takes over.