ᴀ sᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ's ᴅᴀʏ - Nick Miller

ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴄʜᴇᴄᴋ

Jess and Cece were texting on their group chat with Cassy as they sat around the kitchen island, and Cassy's phone buzzed continuously, making Schmidt increasingly nervous. He kept glancing around Jess' shoulder, but she pulled away before he could read them every time. It was successful, until it wasn't.

"Cece went on a date last night?" He asked.

"Schmidt, why don't you just read my text messages while I'm in the shower like you normally do?" Jess asked. Cassy's eyes widened.

"You do that?" She asked. Schmidt ignored her.

"Our Cece has taken a lover? Good for him." He stated.

"Don't get weird, Schmidt." Nick muttered.

"I'm not being weird." Schmidt defended. "I just said good for him. You know, I've camped in that forest, too. The babbling brook, the beautiful mountains, the little secret trail-way that's only open seasonally, and when it is, let me tell you something, bring a camera." Cassy and Nick cringed, and Jess blinked, like she was pretending she didn't hear anything.

"Cool, not weird at all." Nick replied.

"Good, you're all here. I just got a tip from my buddy, Dugan. My academy background check is today and I need everybody's help. Even you, Cassy-who-does-not-live-here." Winston said, coming into the room.

"Guys, this is an all-hands-on-deck situation. If we don't help Winston, he'll never become a cop. Remember?" Jess asked. "He handcuffed his cat's paw to a radiator, and then lost the key."

"In my defence, I was making a Christmas card, so..." Winston sniffed.

"Okay, you know what? Cassy and I'll cancel our plans with Cece. We can find out about how her date with Shivrang went later." Jess said, texting once again. Cassy shrugged.

"Okay." She replied.

"A ridiculous name. Oh, hey, my name is Shiv... shiver- I don't even know how to pronounce that." Schmidt snapped.

"It's Shivrang." Winston stated, unimpressed.

"I'll take that Shivrang. I'll take him to a waterpark I will." Schmidt grumbled. "I'll put him on one of those waterslides between two obese people and he'll get smushed to death. Die in a... die in a water... he'll die between those obese people before he drowns in the water." He whispered.

"What?" Jess asked, making a face.

"Schmidt, that is exactly the kind of talk we can't have today, when the LAPD comes here." Winston said, pointing his finger at the floor.

"Um, the, uh, the cops are coming here?" Jess asked, suddenly looking extremely guilty. Cassy narrowed her eyes at her.

"Yes." Winston confirmed.

"Like, here, here?"

"Yes."

"Like, to our home, where we keep our stuff? Why can't we just go there?" She asked. "We'll just go there, answer some questions, get an iced coffee on the way back. I really feel like an iced coffee."

"It's a home visit, Jess. And not just from any cop. It's from Sergeant Tess Dorado. The Fish. I'm pretty sure they call her The Fish because she's tough, but fair. Just like most fish I've interacted with." Winston said.

"Winston, "dorado" is a fish. It's a subset of mahi-mahi and it pairs very nicely with citrus, you oaf." Schmidt explained calmly.

"I'm not an oaf. You're a oaf, stupid. So... you're dumb. There." Winston retorted. Cassy raised an eyebrow. Winston ran away.