Lila had arrived when she was 13. She had stolen all her friends. She was bullied by her class. Chloe apologized and was her only friend in her class, but she moved to New York to spend more time with her mother.
She was alone. Marinette decided to...
I wasn't even completely awake when I had to run to the bathroom. I saw last night's dinner going down the toilet. These are going to be 8 long months...
After riding myself of the contents of my stomach, I shower and get dressed. I couldn't help but stare at my stomach, trying to figure out what's going to happen to me over the next few months.
"What if the class finds out?"
"Will they kill it?"
"I miss Damian..."
I can feel myself tearing up.
"Why did the class have to destroy my phone? I can't call Damian to tell him what's happening. I need him now more than anything..."
⚠️Suicidal thoughts and cutting⚠️
I look at myself again.
"Why am I even still alive? I bet he's going to hate me if I even see him again... Maybe he doesn't want to be a father... Maybe he was just using me... I'm just a stupid slut."
I spot the box in the corner. I reach out and grab it and open it. There, I see a sharp, light, shiny razor blade resting on the bottom of the box.
I pick it up and bring it to my forearm.
Slut 1 Whore 2 Stupid 3 Dumbass 4 Kill yourself! 5 Jump off the Eiffel Tower! 6 Waste of space! 7 Burden! 8 Damian's better off without me! 9 He must hate me! 10 I don't deserve to live! 11 Disappointment! 12 Bitch! 13 Bully! 14 Why was I ever your friend! 15 Piece of shit! 16 Unfit mother! 17 They deserve better! 18, 19, 20...
I let every insult thrown my way get to me. I let all my dark thoughts about myself out.
The water going down the drain had long turned red. Blood red.
My arms were covered in cuts. I hadn't realized that I had started crying. I sat on the floor and let the water wash over me. I stared at my stomach. Closed my eyes wishing this wasn't real, wishing I could just die. But I wasn't dead. I still had to keep going for my family and friends. Continue my balancing act.
I let my tears flow. A new tattoo appeared on my hip.
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°Time skip°
I spent the day working on one of Jagged's commissions while listening to music.
I miss the old me, the happy me. The one that had friends. The one Lie-la had fun destroying.
