This part is about a time where I was 11-12. (I turn 16 in april btw)
I swim , I'm a competitive swimmer.
I just got into the swim team and I was still new , most of the team was older than me so I wanted to fit in.
I started to hangout with a group of people that are all older than me and let me tell you, they were not nice . At all.
I think they made me think I was their friend just to make fun of me , I was just a kid literally.
They kept bullying me and when I spoke up they'd tell me "what are you saying we're just messing around".
Eventually me and 3 other people got promoted to the number 1 team , I got away from the toxic people .
It was a new team , but they were all my age .
Of course since it was a new environment it was hard to make friends and kids are mean.
Later on tho , I made friends with 2 girls their name was Rana and mariam.
After that the whole team became friends and it was really nice , I could actually say it was the best time of my life.
It was a small team which consisted of only 10 of us we were the only 3 girls and we had two coaches who were like our brothers.
Eventually me , Rana and mariam became inseprable , but we were just teenage little girls and boys oh boys.
We just started to have fights over boys as a joke and then it just became too much they started to degrade me Infront of everyone , they started to treat me like shit.
Rana really hurt me the most she bullied me and turned everyone against me , I loved her and trusted her.
I never ever loved anyone like I loved her she was my friend and my sister but she destroyed me.
I cried and cried my mom would yell are me and tell me "why are you crying because of such a bad friend".
People said I'm too sensitive , I was an optimistic happy girl but after what happened with Rana I learned to keep my emotions to myself.
It Wasn't easy , it wasn't like a switch .
What happened with Rana stayed with me until now , I can't express emotions anymore.
I'm so tired and I miss her sometimes I miss her way too much and I can't find someone that I can love as much as her.
