TW:MENTION OF SUICIDE
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In 2019 I tried to take my own life.
I was really tired of everything I couldn't take it .
It wasn't that I bad friends or bad parents or anything bad.
I wasn't ungrateful for anything.
I was just unable to find the will to live .
I hated myself and I was so tired of the hatred I felt for myself.
So I went and searched up how many doses does it take to kill someone.
And I added one extra pill to make sure I die.
I passed out.
I woke up in the hospital and my mom just yelled at me.
She never asked why I did it.
She didn't hug me , she didn't do anything she just said "you're crazy".
My dad wasn't even there , I don't think he ever found out.
After that I felt okay.
They never took me to therapy , never considered that something could be wrong.
I had to deal with my own mind alone.
This is how I feel again.
I wish I could unexist.
I wonder what is beyond this world we live in.
I wonder all the time how it would feel to die.
I don't really think about how people would react because I know damn well human beings are capable of moving on.
If I ever kill myself , it'd be for me not for anyone.
Everyone is too selfish and I can't give my life up for them.
I'd give my life up for me .
