Enteral Pain

1.

Chapter
1.

First POV

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I sighed as I awoke to the birds' morning song and the light of dawn creeping into my room. Rubbing my bleary eyes, I walked to the window, where I saw a pearly glow playing across the dull sky.

I walked to the modern door, grabbed my silk robe and put it on, and my pastel pink ankle socks. Walking through my silent long hallway, I approached my stairs.

I descend the stairs, panting and clutching at my side. "Good morning," I say to no one in particular as I walk into the kitchen and open the refrigerator with both hands. I grab some yogurt and slide over to my cabinet to get my favorite granola, which is a nutritious breakfast food that also makes for a tasty snack.

I have to go grocery shopping. I say this , stretching backwards and standing on my toes.

I shivered because my nipples hardened at the cold air. I groaned as my back arched and stretched. "I almost forgot I need to go get some new pointe shoes," I mumbled as I grabbed the cold milk from the refrigerator,and scratching my arm.

After some time, I go upstairs to take a hot shower. And do my morning routine. I walk into the quiet bathroom and undress, proceeding to walk into the shower, shivering and naked. A curtain shields me from the gleaming silver lining of the tub. After about 20–30 minutes, I am out of the shower and drying my wet body and hair.

I am now dressed.

I drove my car smoothly along the road. I feel each bump in the road under my tires. I watch the cars as they pass me, and I watch as people walk on the sidewalk, life could be good if you enjoy it. Looking for an parking spot , I found one and parked my car.

I grab my keys, exiting my car and now I'm walking on the sidewalk in downtown, feeling the blazing medallion in the sky beaming down on me as I walk to the library. I hear the murmured conversations of people talking or having loud conversations. I make it to the library, placing my hand on the door handle opening it.

I felt my body smack against the large man before me, and for a moment I thought my body would defy gravity. I felt the man's large hand brace itself below my lower back, and I felt myself falling straight out of his grip. I heard my own hoarse cry of fear. I heard the sound of my phone dropping six inches below me. I felt my body twisting and turning as I plummeted, and for a moment I saw the man's intense stare tearing through me."I'm sorry , I didn't mean to walk into you." I try to say in my clearest voice.

The man's jaw clenched. "You weren't looking where you were going." he said, his voice deep. He chuckled. "Let me help you up," he said, and extended his hands to my waist .

I look up at him, the pain is sharp, shooting through my wrist. I yank my hand away from him. "Ow!" I say hissed at the pain that went to my wrist. "What the hell was that for?" I say clearing my throat, rubbing my wrist repeatedly.

He didn't move, but stayed in the position he was in. He grabs my hurting wrist again. I bite my lip at the pain." "Your wrists are very weak for a dancer." he says, he lets go of my throbbing wrist. "H-How do you know that i'm a dancer?" He gives me a blank stare, like he's reading me or something. He shakes his head before walking away. My body slumps as it looses its stiff posture. Inhaling huge amounts of air to replenish my lungs'.

I turn around and give the man a dazed look of bewilderment. I shrugged my shoulders, creeped out and walked off into the library."What the actually fuck was that." I say quietly.

As I'm done with printing my papers, I walk out of the library, stopping for my favorite drink, and a new pair of pointe shoes, after that I stopped at the grocery store.

I make it back home, conveying my grocery bags, and pointe shoes into my home, I walk into the house and I'm greeted with silence, one of my favorite sounds.

I drop my bags to the floor and hanged up my purse on my rack and place my keys on the side table right by the door. I missed my bed, I mean I was only gone for an hour an a half because of the printer jam and having to stop too get food.

I walk into the kitchen and put all my food in the refrigerator. I put the papers on my counter top, and poured water from a kettle into a pot for pasta. I reach for a wineglass and my favorite bottle of red wine, As I pour the wine into the glass, and went to the living room, turning on my reality show. I hear the sound of water pouring onto the floor. I take a sip of my wine and then sprint into the kitchen and turn off the faucet before placing my pot on the stove and cooking my pasta.

After eating my dinner, I went to go take a shower after that I went back down stairs putting my reality shoes back on. After a some-while I get hungry again and I order some hot wings.

After some time has passed, the man, who is my food deliver, was kinda attractive. He brings my food, to the door, however he questioned me, if I'm going to eat all of this, then he went on asking what I do for a living, I just say I do ballet .

I'm on the smaller side and, people are often shocked at how much I eat. However, my size does not necessarily mean that I do not eat a lot. In fact, most of the time I cannot keep the food in my stomach and will have to vomit. Occasionally, I have episodes where I eat unusually large amounts of food in a short period of time.

I lose control of myself during binges, although I do have a high metabolism, it takes me a long time to gain weight. It's hard for me to gain weight because my body rejects the food that I eat. Sometimes, when I throw up, my vision begins to turn black and then I pass out.

When this happens, it's the scariest when others are there to watch me fall unconscious because they do not know if they will be able to help me if something goes wrong.

I get these questions a lot, when I tell the real truth to ballet."Why do ballet if you're going to cry over it "or "you're never going to be good enough" "why are you so cocky?"

I respond the same way every-time..

"I think I have this thing where I need everybody to think I'm the greatest the quote on quote is a fantastic ballet dancer, and if they aren't completely knocked out, and dazzled and kind of intimidated by me then I don't feel good about myself. Ballet is traditionally like the court danger, hunting prey , out smart predators, and that's what i'm actually good at. i think of the end of the day, I'm just tired."

I sighed , I cleaned up again, and brushed my teeth, but I still feel disgusting. I put my nightgown on, and then my bonnet.

I turn onto my side and shut my lamp off, allowing my eyes to slowly close and my body to relax as the sound of the silent air around me slowly fades away.

✧⋆ Hope you did enjoy ✧⋆