New Boy | Miguel Diaz

I Loved You

After helping my mom into bed, I shut the door, quietly, and walk back to the living room.

I turn the t.v off and decide I should leave soon. I gotta get ready for work and all my things are still at Tory's.

Tory is now aware that I'm leaving her place, and her reaction wasn't really what I expected. She was understanding, and a bit upset, but we both knew it was the best choice.

Someone had knocked on the door, and I dropped the t.v remote on the couch, and opened the door.

Miguel was standing there with two— maybe three grocery bags.

"Miguel? How'd you know I was here?"

"I talked to your co-worker, Cameron? Yeah— I kinda had to force him to tell me where you've been staying, so don't get mad at him."

I glanced around Miguel, wondering if he was alone.

"It's just me. You don't have to worry about Sensei Lawrence."

I forgot about the bags he was holding which seemed a bit heavy, so I invited him inside, to which he set them on the counter.

"What is all that?"

"It's for you. And your mom."

"Miguel—"

"No, listen. I told my family about your current situation, and we all wanted to help out. Before you freak out, I hadn't told Sensei Lawrence any of this, and if you don't want me to— I promise I won't.

"You've supported me throughout these past few years, and without you— I don't know where I'd be. So now it's my turn. I'm gonna be there to support and help you and your mom even if you don't want me to."

I walk up to Miguel, with my hands in my back pockets. "I appreciate it, I really do— but—"

"No buts. Just please accept the groceries. It's all I ask, Ava. And in some way, I feel like you won't hate me as much."

"I don't hate you. I just don't trust you. Nor do I forgive you."

"I know, and that's completely my fault. I just want us to be... us again. Or back to how we were the first time we ever met."

"I want that as much as you want it. But, I just can't look at you the same way anymore. When I see you, I think of how badly you hurt me. Twice."

"As if you hadn't done any worse to me. I mean, you've sided with Cobra Kai— for good this time, and before you just completely ghosted me."

"Miguel, you act like I forgot about your whole existence."

"Because you did!" Miguel shouts, and I'm taken aback. "I get that you're mad. And you wanted revenge. But how can I apologize or show that you can trust me again, if you won't ever respond to my texts. How can I know that you're okay if you act like I don't exist?"

"You shouldn't even have to worry about me! Okay— you have Eagle Fang, Sam—"

"Sam's not part of this! If she's really the whole reason why you're being like this, then it's useless at this point."

"Being like what exactly? Look, I'm sorry if me being upset due to the fact that my boyfriend cheated on me with another girl— twice might I add, annoys you. Miguel, I have every right to be upset. I loved you."

"Do you think I didn't love you either? You meant the world to me—"

"Then why'd you do it!"

"Because I didn't think you'd ever love me! I felt insecure, jealous— to think my own girlfriend would leave me for someone who was better looking, smarter. Anyone but me."

I couldn't believe the argument we were having. My mom should be awake by now, if not I should probably check on her.

But I can't leave Miguel here. This argument needs an ending.

"You were everything in my eyes, Miguel. Do you think that I didn't feel insecure or jealous either? I mean, Sam, Tory— I could see how much you felt for them. There were times where I thought I would never be good for you. Because I wasn't Sam— or Tory.

"Okay— maybe I still love you. Of course I do— you were my first love. But that doesn't change the fact that something that happened in the past could ever happen again. Say we do end up together... how will I know you won't hurt me? How can I trust you?"

"Because I'm still in love with you."

Miguel and I were both at the edge of tears. The yelling became overwhelming, but what hurt the most, was that it was all real. Everything we just said... was true.

"Are you really, Miguel? Because if you were... you wouldn't be with Sam right now. You'd be with me." 

A tear leaves Miguel's eye, and he looks away from me for the first time since he was here.

"Miguel, I think you should leave."

He nods his head, tears falling. "Yeah, I think so, too."

I watch as he walks past me and out the door. No words left said from one another. Only silence.

But my heart was pounding, and hoping that Miguel would knock on that door again.

Hoping that if he really meant it... if he really loved me— he would come back.